Archive for 2012

And Porn, Duh

Girl to guy, in cu­ri­ous tone: Hey, is there any­thing we ex­port in the US?
Guy to girl, in se­ri­ous tone: Yeah… Jobs.


There’s No Such Thing As Free Weed, Ladies

Man try­ing to sell tick­ets to com­e­dy show: We’re giv­ing out dil­dos tonight, ladies.
Skin­ny black girl: No, thanks. I have a re­al one at home.
Man try­ing to sell tick­ets to com­e­dy show: Free weed if you go to the show.
Skin­ny black girl: Ooh! Ooh! Me!


Man­hat­tan’s Aus­tralia

New York­er to tourist: Yeah, it’s kind of far over there… I did­n’t even know there *was* a 12th av­enue.

–18th & 5th

White Peo­ple Stole Our Reg­gae!

Caribbean man #1: Dis is Amer­i­ca, yuh fight for ya own!
Caribbean man #2: La di da. That’s why the black na­tion still in bondage!

–Clark­son Ave, Brook­lyn

Over­heard by: Just an Asian want­i­ng piz­za

Even Sad­der

Young fe­male clerk: Did you hear that the iPhone guy died?
Man stock­ing shelves: It’s sad.
Young fe­male clerk: That’s why they did­n’t come out with the iPhone 5. It’s the 4S.

–Hud­son Square Phar­ma­cy

Over­heard by: bill gates


Pro­fes­sor: Hey, you ever heard of a guy named Spike Jonze?
Stu­dent: Did­n’t he di­rect an Ikea com­mer­cial?

–Tisch School of the Arts

Over­heard by: Bruce Lee