Archive for 2012

And Porn, Duh

Girl to guy, in curious tone: Hey, is there anything we export in the US?
Guy to girl, in serious tone: Yeah… Jobs.


There’s No Such Thing As Free Weed, Ladies

Man trying to sell tickets to comedy show: We’re giving out dildos tonight, ladies.
Skinny black girl: No, thanks. I have a real one at home.
Man trying to sell tickets to comedy show: Free weed if you go to the show.
Skinny black girl: Ooh! Ooh! Me!


Manhattan’s Australia

New Yorker to tourist: Yeah, it’s kind of far over there… I didn’t even know there *was* a 12th avenue.

–18th & 5th

White People Stole Our Reggae!

Caribbean man #1: Dis is America, yuh fight for ya own!
Caribbean man #2: La di da. That’s why the black nation still in bondage!

–Clarkson Ave, Brooklyn

Overheard by: Just an Asian wanting pizza

Even Sadder

Young female clerk: Did you hear that the iPhone guy died?
Man stocking shelves: It’s sad.
Young female clerk: That’s why they didn’t come out with the iPhone 5. It’s the 4S.

–Hudson Square Pharmacy

Overheard by: bill gates


Professor: Hey, you ever heard of a guy named Spike Jonze?
Student: Didn’t he direct an Ikea commercial?

–Tisch School of the Arts

Overheard by: Bruce Lee

Only 1% Finds It Funny Anymore.

Suit: Are you guys from Occupy Wall Street?
Hipster in apparent squatters’ camp: No, we’re waiting for SNL tickets.

–49th & 6th