Archive for 2012

Wednes­day One-Lin­ers Look Noth­ing Like De­mi Moore

NYU pro­fes­sor: I hate to break it to you, but there are ug­ly strip­pers. Go to Jer­sey City. There are ug­ly strip­pers.

–Wa­ver­ly & Mer­cer

Guy to friend: I did­n’t say I want­ed white strip­pers, I said I want­ed girls with big booties, big boo­bies and beau­ti­ful eyes…

–Q Train

Soros­ti­tute at near­by ta­ble: I was like, ‘the strip-o-gram is a one time thing.’

–Ju­nior’s, Brook­lyn

Over­heard by: La­dle

Flam­ing teenage gay boy: So she calls me and says, “my strip­per friend’s boyfriend is lost in Queens.” And I’m like, “What?! One, why are you hang­ing out with a 21-year-old strip­per, and two, why was he in Queens?

–In Line for Some­thing Cor­po­rate

Over­heard by: Can you spot the pun here?

Mad Men’s Day One-Lin­ers

Suit to bud­dies: So I have to do that every time I poop, or blood gets every­where…

–Bryant Park

Over­heard by: lezbotron

Young male suit: 34 years, 8 months, and 3 weeks un­til I re­tire. So I plan on mar­ry­ing rich.

–Up­town 4 Train

Over­heard by: Fer­na

Suit on cell: Did you just say ‘bol­locks’?

–13th & 1st

Suit: It’s le­gal S&M! That’s what I al­ways say.

–A Train

Suit on cell: Okay, see you Sun­day. (hangs up and says to him­self) I’ve nev­er seen you, I don’t want to see you, and I nev­er will see you.

–King St