NYU pro­fes­sor: I hate to break it to you, but there are ug­ly strip­pers. Go to Jer­sey City. There are ug­ly strip­pers.

–Wa­ver­ly & Mer­cer

Guy to friend: I did­n’t say I want­ed white strip­pers, I said I want­ed girls with big booties, big boo­bies and beau­ti­ful eyes…

–Q Train

Soros­ti­tute at near­by ta­ble: I was like, ‘the strip-o-gram is a one time thing.’

–Ju­nior’s, Brook­lyn

Over­heard by: La­dle

Flam­ing teenage gay boy: So she calls me and says, “my strip­per friend’s boyfriend is lost in Queens.” And I’m like, “What?! One, why are you hang­ing out with a 21-year-old strip­per, and two, why was he in Queens?

–In Line for Some­thing Cor­po­rate

Over­heard by: Can you spot the pun here?