Loud Puer­to Ri­can woman: You know what made me break out in hives?! All these nuts I ate the past few days! (awk­ward si­lence) I’m al­ler­gic to peanuts , y’­know!

–Hins­dale, Brook­lyn

Guy to fe­male friend: You know, if you lick the walls, they taste like snozber­ries…

–Dy­lan’s Can­dy bar

Guy, look­ing at menu, then to girl with him: Philly tubesteak? You’re hav­ing one of those tonight any­way. (pause) Cause I’m from Philly!

–Crif Dogs

Over­heard by: Ricky

Sob­bing sev­en-year-old: I just want… a nap… and a pep­per­oni piz­za­aaa!

–M86 Bus

Over­heard by: Liz