Archive for 2012

Wednesday One-Liners Feel Pretty

My dad: Papa John’s had some work done.

–78th & Park Ave

Friend to another, discussing proper etiquette at funeral: Of course I checked Facebook! I needed to keep my mind off of things, plus I looked good that day… I had to post pics!

–Dentist Office

Tourists behind me: Her tattoos look stunning now, but when she’s middle aged they won’t look good.

–12th St, Alehouse

Overheard by: I’m 41

Guy to girl: The scarf is doing most of the heavy lifting, but you look really good.

–Fordham Law

Overheard by: brooklynlert

Guy to upset girl: I wasn’t saying it to be mean, ok? But it’s true: You really *do* look kind of like Bob Dylan.

–Outside New York Public Library

Wednesday One-Liners Stroke It to the Food Network

Loud Puerto Rican woman: You know what made me break out in hives?! All these nuts I ate the past few days! (awkward silence) I’m allergic to peanuts , y’know!

–Hinsdale, Brooklyn

Guy to female friend: You know, if you lick the walls, they taste like snozberries…

–Dylan’s Candy bar

Guy, looking at menu, then to girl with him: Philly tubesteak? You’re having one of those tonight anyway. (pause) Cause I’m from Philly!

–Crif Dogs

Overheard by: Ricky

Sobbing seven-year-old: I just want… a nap… and a pepperoni pizzaaaa!

–M86 Bus

Overheard by: Liz