Archive for 2012

Wednes­day One-Lin­ers Feel Pret­ty

My dad: Pa­pa John’s had some work done.

–78th & Park Ave

Friend to an­oth­er, dis­cussing prop­er eti­quette at fu­ner­al: Of course I checked Face­book! I need­ed to keep my mind off of things, plus I looked good that day… I had to post pics!

–Den­tist Of­fice

Tourists be­hind me: Her tat­toos look stun­ning now, but when she’s mid­dle aged they won’t look good.

–12th St, Ale­house

Over­heard by: I’m 41

Guy to girl: The scarf is do­ing most of the heavy lift­ing, but you look re­al­ly good.

–Ford­ham Law

Over­heard by: brook­lyn­lert

Guy to up­set girl: I was­n’t say­ing it to be mean, ok? But it’s true: You re­al­ly *do* look kind of like Bob Dy­lan.

–Out­side New York Pub­lic Li­brary

Wednes­day One-Lin­ers Stroke It to the Food Net­work

Loud Puer­to Ri­can woman: You know what made me break out in hives?! All these nuts I ate the past few days! (awk­ward si­lence) I’m al­ler­gic to peanuts , y’­know!

–Hins­dale, Brook­lyn

Guy to fe­male friend: You know, if you lick the walls, they taste like snozber­ries…

–Dy­lan’s Can­dy bar

Guy, look­ing at menu, then to girl with him: Philly tubesteak? You’re hav­ing one of those tonight any­way. (pause) Cause I’m from Philly!

–Crif Dogs

Over­heard by: Ricky

Sob­bing sev­en-year-old: I just want… a nap… and a pep­per­oni piz­za­aaa!

–M86 Bus

Over­heard by: Liz