Archive for 2012

Wednesday One-Liners Are Still Pretty Spry

Old lady to guy pushing cart with large musical instrument case on top: Hey! Do you have a dead body in there?

–8th & 6th Ave

Old man: Tighty-whiteys! Tighty-whiteys! Does anyone know where the tighty-whiteys are? (pause) If anyone sees any tighty-whiteys, let me know.

–Goodwill, Chelsea

Strung-out old lady: Call me! I’m going to church, I need to pray for all of us!

–Montague St, Brooklyn

Long-haired old guy riding bike very slowly, to no one in particular: I hate you.

–Thompkins Square Park

Overheard by: Eli

It’s a Race to the Wednesday One-Liner

Young white woman: And I have to say–she failed to mention–not that it matters or anything… But he was… black!

–Clinton & Attorney

Overheard by: YouriPodHeadphonesDontMeanICantHearYou

Hobo with imaginary Bluetooth device: I saw Bernstein suckin’ that nigga off in the bathroom! I ain’t lyin’! (pause) I’d like to thank the blacks, the Irish and the Hispanics!

–Penn Station

Overheard by: Ginger Lass

White gangsta-type guy to two black gangsta-type friends: That chinese girl ain’t givin’ you nothing! No msg, no *nothin’*!

–Uptown 1 Train

Overheard by: Harriet Vane

Black teen to another: Listen up: On Martin Luther King Day, all white folks must walk down 7th Avenue… or else!

–Lenox Avenue & 125th St

Overheard by: ManhattanMackenzie