Archive for 2012

Lo­ca­tion Is a Mat­ter Of Con­sen­sus

Con­duc­tor #1: Hey, Bri­an.
(long pause)
Con­duc­tor #1, much loud­er, caus­ing in­ter­com speak­ers to rat­tle: HEY, BRI­AN!
Con­duc­tor #2: Yeah?
Con­duc­tor #1: Where we at?
Con­duc­tor #2: Union Square.
Con­duc­tor #1: Right. Next stop, 23rd street. Stand clear of the clos­ing doors, please.

–W Train

A Death Star?

South­ern col­lege girl #1: It’s just like Star Wars! It’s just like Star Wars!
South­ern col­lege girl #2: Look! Gotham City’s com­ing right at us! It’s just like Star Wars!
(si­lence)
South­ern col­lege girl #1: Look at that tall build­ing. Looks like they’re do­ing con­struc­tion.
South­ern col­lege girl #2: Yeah, I won­der what they’re build­ing…

–Stat­en Is­land Fer­ry

Fist Bump!

Short la­dy: So when I got home I found her naked and squat­ting in the clos­et.
Tall la­dy: Re­al­ly?
Short la­dy: Yeah, I was so drunk too.

–Gov­ern­ment Build­ing, Tribeca

Thanks, Pornog­ra­phy!

Black dude: (at­tempts to pitch a ball of pa­per in­to a trash can and miss­es)
White chick: (grins)
Black dude: Now see, if I’d’a made that shot, you’d have to go out with me!
White chick: I think my girl­friend would ob­ject.
Black dude: No! But I’m a les­bian in my heart, see!

–Crown Heights

Poor Whit­ney

Male suit: Crack is whack.
Fe­male suit, wist­ful­ly: Is it re­al­ly, though?

–Wa­ter St & Wall St

Over­heard by: Bruce Lee

Re­al­ly Takes the Pres­sure Off

Drunk girl: This is gonna be so fun!
Tex­ting drunk guy: Yeah. As­to­ria is nice.
Drunk girl: You’re so lucky, cuz I’m gonna give you so much promis­cu­ity.
Tex­ting drunk guy: Okay.

–31st St, As­to­ria

Over­heard by: Rachel

And It’s Not Like She’ll Ever Be a God Cham­pi­on

Girl: So for her, its like Sports or God.
Guy: Sports or God? What a choice.
Girl: They have some sports at school, but it’s not like she’ll ever be a squash cham­pi­on…
Guy: Yeah, but for God there’s nowhere else but Tem­ple.

–6th St & Ave B

Not Enough Ex­plo­sions?

Guy: This sum­mer is go­ing to suck. I hate go­ing to the movies.
Girl: Not, it’s not! And go­ing to the movies is awe­some.
Guy: You know what I like? Swing­ing! Three­somes! Like that time it was me, you, and Stacey. That was awe­some. Not the freak­ing movies!

–35th & 8th Ave

Over­heard by: Melis­sa