Boy #1: Since when does LBJ stand for “Lyndon B Johnson”?
Boy #2: (blank expression)
Boy #1: I googled LBJ and the first link was Lyndon B Johnson, and the guy has nothing to do with basketball!
–Union Square
Overheard by: Freedom
Archive for 2012
He Also Tells Her When She’s Orgasmed
Guy: And this is Brooklyn.
Girl: Oh, okay.
–Spring & Crosby, Soho
Overheard by: mcneezy
You Know Those People Who Walk Like They’re Rollerblading?
Petite woman, after minor sidewalk collision: Yeah, there’s a whole fucking sidewalk, bro.
Fat dude: Fuck off, bitch!
Petite woman: Right back at ya, honey!
–43rd & Madison
…Should We Get Back to Talking About Tariff Reform Now?
Boy #1: You’re so ridiculous.
Sassy girl: Your mom’s ridiculous.
Boy #2: Your faces are ridiculous.
Sassy girl: Your mom’s faces are ridiculous! Ownedddd! (under her breath) That’s right, bitches!
–1 Train
Too Soon? (Answer: YES.)
Suit #1: Have you seen The Dark Knight Rises yet?
Suit #2: No. It’s too early to see it. It’s too damn crowded right now.
Suit #1: Dude, you have got to see it!
Suit #2: I will see it. I’m just waiting for the crowds to die down–then I’ll give it a shot.
Suit #1: You’d better shut up dude, you might get arrested!
–Water St
Overheard by: Hobo Whisperer
You’ll Rub Anything on an Infant’s Gums, Huh?
Black guy #1: My man got himself $3,500 worth of raw cocaine.
Black guy #2: That’ll work!
–Fulton St & Franklin Ave
Overheard by: Special K
Isn’t That the Title Of a John Grisham Book?
Young black dude: Are you crying?
Friend #1: No, man.
Friend #2: Shit, he’s crying.
Young black dude: Ah, no more tears. I can’t handle no more tears.
Friend #2: You know the Grand Canyon ain’t never had no river before y’all niggas came round.
–13th & 3rd
Overheard by: Keith C.
We’re Walking, You Know
Boy: My parents are taking me to Ireland in the autumn, can you go with?
Friend: Um, hold on (counts on fingers) June, July, Autumn… Yeah, I think I can go.
–E. 87th & Madison Ave
Overheard by: Zakk
But How Did We Breathe?
Ditzy teenage girl: Wait, are we on an island?
Nonplussed teenage boy: Yep.
Ditzy teenage girl: How did we get here?
Nonplussed teenage boy: The Lincoln tunnel.
Ditzy teenage girl: It goes underwater?
Nonplussed teenage boy: It goes underwater.
–1 Train
I’m That Kind Of Cat
Teen #1: I pissed in his car, so… He can’t fix that.
Teen #2: You pissed in his car?
–Douglass Houses
