Boy #1: Since when does LBJ stand for “Lyndon B Johnson”?
Boy #2: (blank expression)
Boy #1: I googled LBJ and the first link was Lyndon B Johnson, and the guy has nothing to do with basketball!

–Union Square

Overheard by: Freedom

Guy: And this is Brooklyn.
Girl: Oh, okay.

–Spring & Crosby, Soho

Overheard by: mcneezy

Petite woman, after minor sidewalk collision: Yeah, there’s a whole fucking sidewalk, bro.
Fat dude: Fuck off, bitch!
Petite woman: Right back at ya, honey!

–43^rd & Madison

Boy #1: You’re so ridiculous.
Sassy girl: Your mom’s ridiculous.
Boy #2: Your faces are ridiculous.
Sassy girl: Your mom’s faces are ridiculous! Ownedddd! (under her breath) That’s right, bitches!

–1 Train

Suit #1: Have you seen The Dark Knight Rises yet?
Suit #2: No. It’s too early to see it. It’s too damn crowded right now.
Suit #1: Dude, you have got to see it!
Suit #2: I will see it. I’m just waiting for the crowds to die down – then I’ll give it a shot.
Suit #1: You’d better shut up dude, you might get arrested!

–Water St

Overheard by: Hobo Whisperer

Black guy #1: My man got himself $3,500 worth of raw cocaine.
Black guy #2: That’ll work!

–Fulton St & Franklin Ave

Overheard by: Special K

Young black dude: Are you crying?
Friend #1: No, man.
Friend #2: Shit, he’s crying.
Young black dude: Ah, no more tears. I can’t handle no more tears.
Friend #2: You know the Grand Canyon ain’t never had no river before y’all niggas came round.

–13^th & 3^rd

Overheard by: Keith C.

Boy: My parents are taking me to Ireland in the autumn, can you go with?
Friend: Um, hold on (counts on fingers) June, July, Autumn… Yeah, I think I can go.

–E. 87^th & Madison Ave

Overheard by: Zakk

Teen #1: I pissed in his car, so… He can’t fix that.
Teen #2: You pissed in his car?

–Douglass Houses

Tourist jogger: What do you recommend?
Bartender: For half price we have a number of well drinks available.
Tourist jogger: I’ll have a well drink, then.

–Botanica Bar

Overheard by: Ruthless