Boy #1: Since when does LBJ stand for “Lyn­don B John­son”?
Boy #2: (blank ex­pres­sion)
Boy #1: I googled LBJ and the first link was Lyn­don B John­son, and the guy has noth­ing to do with bas­ket­ball!

–Union Square

Over­heard by: Free­dom

Guy: And this is Brook­lyn.
Girl: Oh, okay.

–Spring & Cros­by, So­ho

Over­heard by: mc­neezy

Pe­tite woman, af­ter mi­nor side­walk col­li­sion: Yeah, there’s a whole fuck­ing side­walk, bro.
Fat dude: Fuck off, bitch!
Pe­tite woman: Right back at ya, hon­ey!

–43rd & Madi­son

Boy #1: You’re so ridicu­lous.
Sassy girl: Your mom’s ridicu­lous.
Boy #2: Your faces are ridicu­lous.
Sassy girl: Your mom’s faces are ridicu­lous! Owned­ddd! (un­der her breath) That’s right, bitch­es!

–1 Train

Suit #1: Have you seen The Dark Knight Ris­es yet?
Suit #2: No. It’s too ear­ly to see it. It’s too damn crowd­ed right now.
Suit #1: Dude, you have got to see it!
Suit #2: I will see it. I’m just wait­ing for the crowds to die down–then I’ll give it a shot.
Suit #1: You’d bet­ter shut up dude, you might get ar­rest­ed!

–Wa­ter St

Over­heard by: Hobo Whis­per­er

Black guy #1: My man got him­self $3,500 worth of raw co­caine.
Black guy #2: That’ll work!

–Ful­ton St & Franklin Ave

Over­heard by: Spe­cial K

Young black dude: Are you cry­ing?
Friend #1: No, man.
Friend #2: Shit, he’s cry­ing.
Young black dude: Ah, no more tears. I can’t han­dle no more tears.
Friend #2: You know the Grand Canyon ain’t nev­er had no riv­er be­fore y’all nig­gas came round.

–13th & 3rd

Over­heard by: Kei­th C.

Boy: My par­ents are tak­ing me to Ire­land in the au­tumn, can you go with?
Friend: Um, hold on (counts on fin­gers) June, Ju­ly, Au­tumn… Yeah, I think I can go.

–E. 87th & Madi­son Ave

Over­heard by: Za­kk

Ditzy teenage girl: Wait, are we on an is­land?
Non­plussed teenage boy: Yep.
Ditzy teenage girl: How did we get here?
Non­plussed teenage boy: The Lin­coln tun­nel.
Ditzy teenage girl: It goes un­der­wa­ter?
Non­plussed teenage boy: It goes un­der­wa­ter.

–1 Train

Teen #1: I pissed in his car, so… He can’t fix that.
Teen #2: You pissed in his car?

–Dou­glass Hous­es