Columbia University student #1: The most marginalized group on campus are the college Republicans
Columbia University student #2: No, it’s the Christians
– Private get-together of Columbia students, East Village
Archive for July, 2014
The Junior Family
Yuppie: “Is Freddie Prinze Jr. Harry Connick Jr.‘s son?”
– Streetcorner in Midtown
By and large
Former Columbia student: By and large, Barnard girls are Bi and Large.
– East Village, private party full of recent Columbia alumni
Now that’s Union Activism
Yuppie #1: Yesterday we had a strike at Dow Jones.
Yuppie #2: What was it about?
Yuppie #1: Oh, union stuff.
Yuppie #2: What did you do?
Yuppie #1: Well, we all just took a 15-minute lunch break at the same time. It was less a “strike” and more a “coordinated lunch break.”
– F train to Brooklyn
Mr. Popularity
Yuppie #1: I admire the fact that your friends are so intelligent. Most people I speak to are single cell organisms, undergoing mitosis as I speak.
Yuppie #2: Then why do you speak to them?
Yuppie #1: They’re the only ones who call me
– Bond Street Starbucks
Those are some tambourines you have
Woman upon seeing a Mariachi band walk by: Why do they have tambourines on their legs?
– Manhattan
A Jewish Hipster? For Real?
Hipster Girl: Hipsterism was made for Jewish guys and Asian Girls.
– Williamsburg
Where the Pets and Strippers Go
PetCo Woman: Oops, sorry to bump into you. Watch out, I might be going into your pants!
PetCo Guy: I wasn’t complaining. As long as you tip me.
–PetCo, Union Square
You Should See What I Stuck in the Drain
Girl: …And you hadda stick your damn FINGER down the toilet!
–28th bet. 3rd and Lex
Overheard by: Megan Buckley
It’s a Very Trenchcoat Hannukah
Old Lady: Those kids in Columbine used to bully kids themselves. I saw an interview with one. You think the parents didn’t know something was going on, the way they used to dress up like Hitler?
Black Nurse: Really?
Old Lady: One of them was half-Jewish, too!
Black Nurse: That don’t make sense.
Old Lady: They think they’re hot stuff. They don’t care.
–W Train
