Archive for December, 2014

Wednes­day’s One-Lin­ers Sell Them­selves

Teenage nerd: My boss and my deal­er have the same name. One time I called my boss ask­ing for weed, and he was like “hey!” and I was like “yo, lemme cop” and he was like “I think you have the wrong num­ber” and I hung up.

–Tomp­kins Square Park

Over­heard by: joy

Yup­pie 30-some­thing in black coat and white scarf: I’m go­ing crazy! I’ve got his deal­er’s num­ber pro­grammed in­to my phone, but I can’t re­mem­ber her name, so if I call, I won’t know who to ask for. And you have to know who to ask for, or they’ll think you’re a cop!

–16th St & 7th Ave

Loud, mild­ly in­tox­i­cat­ed girl at din­ner: Peo­ple who lit­ter are so much worse than drug deal­ers.

–Brook­lyn

La­dy on cell: Tourism is the on­ly in­dus­try that does­n’t de­pend on drug car­tels.

–14th St & 2nd Ave

Over­heard by: Di­az

The Best Part Is, They’re Talk­ing About Chil­dren’s Pro­gram­ming

Guy #1: May I pre­sup­pose what I think you’re try­ing to ar­tic­u­late, which is, that the core uni­ver­sal­i­ty of your char­ac­ter’s arc needs to be ex­plic­it­ly em­pha­sized in the col­or palate?
Guy #2: I think that’s fair, but I’m not sure you can go there with an au­di­ence.
Guy #1: But is­n’t the whole nar­ra­tive jour­ney bring­ing them there?
Guy #2: Yes and no. Es­sen­tial­ly we can’t bring them there, be­cause we can’t get there our­selves.
Guy #1: Hm­mm, I’m not sure if I agree with that.
Guy #2: We can’t get there. Our pro­tag­o­nist can’t get there, he can’t bring us there with him.
Guy #1: Where?
Guy #2: The riv­er.
Guy #1: Why is he go­ing to the riv­er?
Guy #2: Be­cause that’s–that’s–that’s the thing. That’s the thing he has to do. It’s like, he is that riv­er, and that’s why we go to a wide-shot there.
Guy #1: I do see the wide-shot there, but I think we need more ex­po­si­tion for the cathar­sis to work.

–Think Cof­fee, 3rd & Mer­cer

Over­heard by: todd

Those SOBs Prob­a­bly Had It Com­ing

Guy #1: Well, you know, I am a Mets fan.
Guy #2: Dude, then you’re okay in my book. You could mur­der pup­pies and that’s okay so long as you’re a Mets fan!
Guy #3: Um, he does.
Guy #2: Ex­act­ly! You can to­tal­ly mur­der pup­pies if you’re a Mets fan!
Guy #3: No, he re­al­ly does.
Guy #2: To­tal­ly!
Guy #3: He’s a vet.
Guy #1: I am.

–Par­ty, 74th & 1st