Archive for 2014

Con­sid­er Those New York Plates Re­voked

A man is beep­ing his car horn in­ces­sant­ly in a traf­fic jam be­fore the 59th St bridge. The guy in the car ahead of him rolls down his win­dow, pokes his head out and calm­ly asks: What should I do?

He rolls down his own win­dow.

Man #1: I…um…I just thought maybe you could move up a lit­tle.

–Long Is­land City

And by the Way, He’s Ross and I’m Rachel

Hel­l’s kitchen gay #1: Is it too weird that my boyfriend and I dat­ed the same guy?
Hel­l’s kitchen gay #2: Uhh…
Hel­l’s kitchen gay #1: Well, I broke up with Jake, and then Jake broke up with Travis, and then Travis and I got to­geth­er.
Hel­l’s kitchen gay #2: Well at least you were all bro­ken up first.

–53rd & 8th

She Meant Faster Than Light­ning, Flip­per

Yup­pie guy #1: So my boss ac­cused me to­day of be­ing on drugs.
Yup­pie guy #2: Re­al­ly? But you’ve been clean for months…
Yup­pie guy #1: I know! But still, my boss told me I type like a Thalido­mide child.

–Penn Sta­tion

Over­heard by: Ken­neth Men­zel

Else­where: Wednes­day One-lin­ers