Archive for 2014

Consider Those New York Plates Revoked

A man is beeping his car horn incessantly in a traffic jam before the 59th St bridge. The guy in the car ahead of him rolls down his window, pokes his head out and calmly asks: What should I do?

He rolls down his own window.

Man #1: I…um…I just thought maybe you could move up a little.

–Long Island City 

And by the Way, He’s Ross and I’m Rachel

Hell’s kitchen gay #1: Is it too weird that my boyfriend and I dated the same guy?
Hell’s kitchen gay #2: Uhh…
Hell’s kitchen gay #1: Well, I broke up with Jake, and then Jake broke up with Travis, and then Travis and I got together.
Hell’s kitchen gay #2: Well at least you were all broken up first.

–53rd & 8th

She Meant Faster Than Lightning, Flipper

Yuppie guy #1: So my boss accused me today of being on drugs.
Yuppie guy #2: Really? But you’ve been clean for months…
Yuppie guy #1: I know! But still, my boss told me I type like a Thalidomide child.

–Penn Station

Overheard by: Kenneth Menzel 

Elsewhere: Wednesday One-liners