Archive for 2014

Still Hop­ing I Don’t Go to Col­lege, Aren’t You?

(man in­struct­ing son to stay in the cross­walk)
Man: Don’t wan­der off in­to the street.
Son: Why? Why do I have to stay be­tween the lines?
Man: Stay be­tween the lines and you’ll be rich. You’ll be rich.
Son: What do you mean?
Man: It means you get paid if a car hits you.

–Surf Ave & Still­well Ave

Over­heard by: Aman­da Haag

In­ter­na­tion­al Wednes­day One-Lin­ers Of Mys­tery

La­dy: So I do every­thing my friends do. She start­ing dat­ing a Turk­ish guy, so so did I.

–Hookah Bar, Ave B & 6th St

Over­heard by: Hookah­Fa­nat­ic

Teenage girl to an­oth­er: His name was “in­gles,” but he did­n’t know a sin­gle word of in­gles. That’s iron­i­cal.

–Bryant Park

Over­heard by: Kar­ish­ma Gur­tu

Fa­ther to two young sons: There were 1.5 mil­lion Man­hat­tan In­di­ans, so on­ly the Dutch could tell you what hap­pened to them.

–Out­side the Fed­er­al Re­serve

20-some­thing girl to friend: I think I must be French. It takes me like, five hours to fin­ish a sand­wich.

–Broad­way & 39th St

Woman: At least the ear­rings weren’t as ex­pen­sive as a Chi­nese daugh­ter.

–116th St & 8th

Over­heard by: Matt & Sta­cy

Cue Nos­tal­gic Bounc­ing Mon­tage

Mid­dle-aged guy: So yeah, af­ter I broke my an­kle play­ing rac­quet­ball, I can’t re­al­ly play bas­ket­ball any­more.
Old guy: Well, can you still go hik­ing?
Mid­dle-aged guy: Yeah, I guess so, since it’s not like, high im­pact.
Old guy: …What about tram­po­lines?
Mid­dle-aged guy: Naw, man. Those days are over.

–A train

Over­heard by: Aryn M

200 Wednes­day One-Lin­ers, and There’s Noth­ing to Watch.

Pro­fes­sor: Do you guys watch Amer­i­can Idol? It’s painful.

–Lehman Col­lege

Film stu­dent #1: It’s kind of like Clover­field meets The L Word.

–Wa­ver­ly Place & Broad­way

Val­ley girl wear­ing UG­Gs, point­ing to Guggen­heim: Oh! I think this is the build­ing where Blair and Ser­e­na live!

–Out­side of Guggen­heim

Re­al­ly ef­fem­i­nate 40-some­thing man: I al­ways pick up when he calls, and he was so mad I did­n’t this time… but I could­n’t, be­cause I was still in mourn­ing over Amer­i­can Idol!

–114th & Broad­way

Over­heard by: Melis­sa

Queer to fe­male friend: I was watchin’ Oprah the oth­er day. Oprah is le­git! She had Christi­na Ap­ple­gate on. You know, that girl from Mar­ried with Chil­dren and she was talkin’ ’bout her breasts. She got breast can­cer and they took both of them off! She had on of them lumpec­tomies.

–J Train

Guy: That’s the new Amer­i­can dream–fuck up your life so much that you get your own tv show.

–Fundrais­ing Walk, Bat­tery Park

Over­heard by: Har­ri­et Vane