Archive for 2014

Wednesday One-Liners for the Pod People

Hipster girl: You really need to hear his podcast about how technology is raping our souls.

–Bleecker & Broadway

Overheard by: Jekke

Hipster on cell: So I just got my new iPod… Yeah, it’s awesome! All I need now is a job, and I’m totally set!

–Stillwater, E 4th & 2nd

Overheard by: Pedro Van

Dude: I think my iPod’s gay.

–23rd St F stop

Overheard by: Eliot

Chemistry teacher: I am not liking annoying sound. Today on subway there was man with pants, like, here [motions to mid-thigh] and loud, how you call?… iPod! I am thinking, ‘He is going to lose his pants!’ And he stand on crowded train and sing with iPod. He give us concert, and am I thinking, ‘Why he not dead yet?’

–Fordham University, Lincoln Center

Little boy, about man blaring music from cell: Geez, just get an iPod, dude!

–Crowded A train

Overheard by: Neal Mortimer

Dude, Kids Would Rather Have the Father Than the Money

40-something man to small toddler: I love you very much, sir.
Toddler: (inaudible gibberish)
40-something man: I will make you very rich, sir.
Toddler: (more inaudible gibberish)
40-something man: When I die you will be very wealthy, sir.
Toddler: (more inaudible gibberish)
40-something man: I will make you so much motherfucking money, sir. You will be so motherfucking rich, sir.

–12th St & Ave B

Overheard by: John

A Fist to the Jaw?

Little white boy: I like the light people much more than the dark people.
(black passengers are shocked)
Embarrassed father, addressing bus: He is talking about sunlight and shadows.
Oblivious son: What’s the difference?

–Q64 Bus

Overheard by: Good either way