Strand Girl: Hey, Beth!
Beth: Yeah?
Strand Girl: Phone call.
Beth: Who is it?
Strand Girl: It’s Christopher, posing as an English person.
–The Strand basement, Broadway & 12th St.
Archive for 2014
Take, Eat, This is My Body
Girl #1: My friend Chandra thinks she’s still a virgin because she’s only had anal sex.
Girl #2: How do you know this girl?
Girl #1: She goes to my church.
–New York Public Library, 40th & 5th
Overheard by: Renee Rogers
Someone Please Punch Her
Bitch: Oh hi! We were just speaking very poorly about you!
–Art Gallery, SoHo
Overheard by: Tibbie X
When Queer Eye Attacks
Nut: Fucking homosexual! Watching another man do his business. You must be gay.
–Union Square
Where to Begin Correcting That Sentence?
A couple of black kids are pushing around a Hispanic kid, who is holding a spoon covered in chocolate pudding for some reason.
Black Kid: Wipe that shit off, nigger. Wipe it off!
–14th St. & 1st Ave.
Thankfully There’s Only 2 From Each State
Man #1: They’re just a bunch of high-class lowlifes.
Man #2: Yeah, and I’m one of them!
–D’Agastino’s, 26th St.
Overheard by: Megan Buckley
Actually She Gave Me Some Good Chick Advice
Literary Agent: I’m full of shit. I can’t help it!
–36th Street
Out of Wedlock Fun
His Baby’s Momma: He don’t pay child support. He don’t ever see her. That’s it! I’m calling his fucking parole officer!
–West Village
Those Satanic Greeks
A group of punks walk by the Hellenic Steaks restaurant.
Punk: This restaurant is perfect for me: I love steak, and I love Satan!
–Astoria
What About Science?
Waitress: Is that book you’re reading fiction or theory?
–Cosi