Archive for 2014

…to Buy Choco­late and Al­co­hol

Grand­daugh­ter: I spy… Grand­ma… You have to listen…I spy with my lit­tle eye, some­thing that helps adults.
Moth­er: Choco­late.
Grand­moth­er: Al­co­hol.
Grand­daugh­ter: No! Bank of Amer­i­ca!
Moth­er: That helps adults?

–7th & Broad­way

Head­line by: Bot­ti­cus

Run­ners-Up:
· “…In THIS Econ­o­my?!” — Pablo & Pablo
· “I Slept Wth a Teller Once” — Yoli
· “If by Help, You Mean Fuck and by Adults, You Mean Shareholders…Then, Well Played” — cmm
· “Sure, That’s the Third Per­son They Helped Off the Floor & Gave a Tis­sue Too” — tatts
· “Well, Maybe Not Where YOU Go, but I Get Mani-Pedis Every­time I Go There” — An­tho­ny

Click here to see the new Head­line Con­test

Been There, Done Them

Naked chick #1: I tried to call you Sun­day, but your boyfriend said you were tak­ing a nap.
Naked chick #2: Oh, why?
Naked chick #1: Well, I was read­ing Craigslist and this guy said he’d give some­one $100 for 14 pills of tetrazepam and I was like, “Wait a minute, I have that!”
Naked chick #2: So you were call­ing to ask me if you should sell drugs over the in­ter­net?
Naked chick #1: Well, it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Naked chick #2: Was there any­one on there of­fer­ing mon­ey for a blowjob?
Naked chick #1: Um, no.
Naked chick #2: Be­cause that’s an­oth­er ca­reer op­tion I would­n’t rec­om­mend.

–14th Street Y sauna

Over­heard by: klin­grap

The Black Is­raelites Are Usu­al­ly More Con­spic­u­ous

Bag la­dy: Hey, can I bum a smoke?
Hip­ster guy: I bummed this one.
Bag la­dy: Ching-chong, ching-ching-ching-ching-chong!

She en­ters CVS and comes back.

Bag la­dy: Ching-chong, ching-chong.
Hip­ster guy: You’re a fat ug­ly bitch.
Bag la­dy: You’re a chink.
Hip­ster guy: Why don’t you say that to my face?
Bag la­dy: I will. My boyfriend will kick your ass!
Hip­ster guy: Why do you have to start with me right now?
Bag la­dy: Be­cause you’re a chink. You’re Chi­nese, right?
Hip­ster guy: No.
Bag la­dy: Japan­ese?
Hip­ster guy: No.
Bag la­dy: Umm…Korean?
Hip­ster guy: No.
Bag la­dy: Asian?

–86th & 2nd

Over­heard by: Nakul Pa­tel