Archive for 2014

What­ev­er It Takes

Re­li­gious la­dy: Here’s a fly­er to ed­u­cate you about Je­sus.
Teen guy: I’m ag­nos­tic.
Re­li­gious la­dy: That’s the wrong re­li­gion.
Teen guy: It’s not a re­li­gion.
Re­li­gious la­dy: Ac­cept Je­sus Christ and be saved!
Teen guy: Fuck Je­sus.
Re­li­gious la­dy: What?!
Teen guy: Fuck Je­sus.
Re­li­gious la­dy: You should­n’t say that — Je­sus will for­give you.
Teen guy: You’re ug­ly. Now leave me alone.

–De­lancey St

Over­heard by: Used to this shit

Hel­la Good Wednes­day One-Lin­ers

Twitchy dude to no one in par­tic­u­lar: What? You sell­ing some­thing? What you sell­ing? You all are dev­ils! Dev­il wor­shipers! Bunch of dev­il wor­shipers! Dev­ils, dev­ils, dev­ils! See you in hell! Oh…I won’t be there, though.

–C Train

Hip­ster girl on cell: No, the black marks are from me cheat­ing on you with Sa­tan. (pause) Yeah, now I’m preg­nant and he won’t mar­ry me.

–23rd & 5th

Over­heard by: Louisa

Young guy on cell, about video game: I gave them my soul. I gave them my soul! See, my soul legal­ly be­longs to you, so you tricked them. (pause) Give him his soul! Give him his soul! What? What? Too late!

–93rd St, Bay Ridge

Scream­ing man with ash­es on fore­head to man walk­ing past on Ash Wednes­day: You’re go­ing to hell you moth­er­fuck­er!

–Penn Sta­tion

Over­heard by: BK

Woman on cell: Sa­tan don’t wear no panties, ne­gro. That shit flies free.

–As­to­ria, Queens

Over­heard by: Celia