Archive for 2014

As Close As Two New York­ers Can Get, I Sup­pose

Girl #1: So you know how New York bus­es have two doors, a front and a back? Well, I was run­ning to catch the bus this morn­ing and I got up to the back door and the bus drove away.
Girl #2: Harsh.
Girl #1: I could­n’t be­lieve it. And it was the same dri­ver I ride with every morn­ing. I thought we were close.
Girl #2: Ap­par­ent­ly not.

–Broad­way & 44th

Bad Wednes­day! Bad One-Lin­er!

20-some­thing woman hold­ing pup­py: Don’t bite that, that’s my sleeve. (pause) That’s my pock­et. (pause) Those are my boobs. On­ly my boyfriend’s al­lowed to bite those, fuzzbutt.

–43rd & 10th Ave

Hip­ster dog walk­er sit­ting at bench with dogs talk­ing to Bea­gle: You’re an ass­hole, you know that? You don’t want to lis­ten, that’s why you’re an ass­hole.

–Chelsea

Over­heard by: Yeah…that dog does­n’t un­der­stand you.

Crust punk to dog: Left. (dog turns a lit­tle af­ter her) Hard left!

–Tomp­kins Square Dog Run

Over­heard by: Hc

Fe­male own­er to poo­dle in full-leg plaid pants, bright yel­low dog­gie sweater, and pro­peller beanie: You like your clothes, don’t you? Yeah!

–86th & Am­s­ter­dam

Over­heard by: La­dle

Girls Talk About Food the Way Guys Talk About Girls

In-shape girl #1: So… I went from “no lunch to­day” to BLT just walk­ing in here.
In-shape girl #2: Well, I went from no lunch to a half-pound of tu­na, so that’s ok if I don’t eat carbs.
In-shape girl #1, a minute lat­er: So I was think­ing there’s no place around here to get a ba­con-egg-and-cheese…

–Deli, 30th & 9th

Over­heard by: rick