Archive for 2014

One of Them British Words Made Up by Nancy Stouffer

Guy: Naw, naw, I read that he died.
Girl: J.K. Rowling is a woman, and she’s not dead; she just wrote this book.
Guy: Naw…you sure? I really think I read that he died.
Girl: No! Anyway, she said that in the wizarding world, Muggles–
Guy: Muggles? Oh, is that one of those British words?
Girl: No, it’s just a word she made up.
Guy: Right, and we wouldn’t understand it here, because it’s one of them British words.

–M train

Overheard by: Kev 

Wow. Free Sperm. Thanks, Ted.

Dude: I fuckin’ love you.
Chick: I love you, too.
Dude: I will always love and respek you.
Chick: [Coos.]Dude: You were born into this life to be a woman, to be a wife, and to be a motha.
Chick: [Bats eyes.]Dude: And I am going to make you a motha.

–M60 bus, 116th St

That’s a Starbucks, Sweetie.

Girl #1: Oh my god, is that the Empire State Building?
Girl #2: Oh, shit, yeah! Let’s go!

–5th & E 10th

Overheard by: Sam Chalek

And It’s Too Windy for Air Mail

Mailwoman: Ma’am, the zip code you gave is for Michigan.
Lady: No! Illinois is in Chicago. My son don’t live in Michigan. Illinois is in Chicago! Chicago is a big state with lots of towns! Illinois is in Chicago!
Mailwoman: You gived me the wrong information, and I can’t help you.
Lady: You’re giving me bullshit. You’re fucking bullshit! Bullshit! Illinois is in fucking Chicago. This is fucking bullshit. 

–Post Office, Jamaica

Overheard by: James