Archive for 2014

One of Them British Words Made Up by Nan­cy Stouf­fer

Guy: Naw, naw, I read that he died.
Girl: J.K. Rowl­ing is a woman, and she’s not dead; she just wrote this book.
Guy: Naw…you sure? I re­al­ly think I read that he died.
Girl: No! Any­way, she said that in the wiz­ard­ing world, Mug­gles–
Guy: Mug­gles? Oh, is that one of those British words?
Girl: No, it’s just a word she made up.
Guy: Right, and we would­n’t un­der­stand it here, be­cause it’s one of them British words.

–M train

Over­heard by: Kev

Wow. Free Sperm. Thanks, Ted.

Dude: I fuckin’ love you.
Chick: I love you, too.
Dude: I will al­ways love and re­spek you.
Chick: [Coos.]Dude: You were born in­to this life to be a woman, to be a wife, and to be a motha.
Chick: [Bats eyes.]Dude: And I am go­ing to make you a motha.

–M60 bus, 116th St

And It’s Too Windy for Air Mail

Mail­woman: Ma’am, the zip code you gave is for Michi­gan.
La­dy: No! Illi­nois is in Chica­go. My son don’t live in Michi­gan. Illi­nois is in Chica­go! Chica­go is a big state with lots of towns! Illi­nois is in Chica­go!
Mail­woman: You gived me the wrong in­for­ma­tion, and I can’t help you.
La­dy: You’re giv­ing me bull­shit. You’re fuck­ing bull­shit! Bull­shit! Illi­nois is in fuck­ing Chica­go. This is fuck­ing bull­shit.

–Post Of­fice, Ja­maica

Over­heard by: James