Archive for January, 2015

Is­n’t That a Lit­tle Gay?

Teen #1 shop­ping in su­per­mar­ket, to friends: I’m just say­ing fuck that fuck­ing ass-cock!
Teen #2: Yo, son! Chill with all that loud ass curs­ing.
Teen #1: Nig­ga, I don’t give a fuck; bitch, fuck, tit­ties, cock, ass, bitch, moth­er­fuck­er! Fuck pussy ass bitch­es that don’t re­spect this lil ganster-nig­ga here! You feel me?!
Teen #2: Okay.
Teen #1 to su­per­mar­ket work­er: Get back to work, nig­ga, or I’ll slap you with my dick and piss on your car­rots!

–Pi­o­neer Su­per­mar­ket, Brook­lyn

Over­heard by: Ri­can­vel­li

The Blue­birds Who Usu­al­ly Do It Have the Day Off

Punk girl: So he said he re­al­ly wants to get me re­al­ly drunk again.
Punk friend: Why?
Punk girl: Be­cause he said I’m as cute as a Care Bear.
Friend: What the hell does that mean?
Girl: Um, who cares? That’s so sweet… and I did­n’t even sleep with him for it. Now help me push up my tits.

–Q Train

Over­heard by: In­gss

Though I Think Of It As More Of a Di­vine Call­ing

Work­ing man: Yo, what’s that?
Hobo, shak­ing cup of coins: Huh?
Work­ing man: What is that?
Hobo: It’s a cup, you got any mon­ey?
Work­ing man: Yeah, I got mon­ey in my pock­et.
Hobo: Well, gimme some!
Work­ing man: I ain’t got mon­ey to be givin’ away. I just did my eight hours.
Hobo: Well, I’m get­tin’ my eight hours too, shit!

–F Train

Over­heard by: nin­ja