Archive for February, 2015

Play Halo until I Have a Seizure

Elementary schooler #1: Next week you can come and sleep over. And you know what I’m gonna do?
Elementary schooler #2, quivering with excitement: No, what?
Elementary schooler #1: The same thing as last time! [Both start giggling.] 

–F train

Overheard by: I wish they could quit that

If I Had Another Hand or Leg, Though…

Thin chick: I love smoking cigarettes while I walk.
Fat friend: Ugh, I hate smoking cigarettes while I’m walking. I can just see it now — ‘Look at that cow walking down the street puffing on a cigarette.’ I’ll be, like, smoking with my right hand, holding my inhaler with my left and wobbling down the street. Nice.

–F train

Overheard by: Hysterical