Archive for October, 2015

Not Even the Women’s Studies Professor Is Safe From Gina and Ashley’s Critique

Student #1: I don’t know why that bitch has such a big ego, she’s fucking ugly.
Student #2: Yeah, I know, but she thinks she’s Paris Hilton or some shit.
Student #1: She’s probably getting fucked by some loser.

–St. John’s University

Overheard by: kapnasty

Headline by: Leema

· “…And Taping It to Launch Her “Career”” — LOLa
· “And I’m Taping It” — Victor
· “Hey, Don’t Call My Dad a Loser!” — PeterG
· “How Guys Interpret the Twilight Books” — john
· “Just Another Day Behind the Scenes Of “The View”” — Yobojo
· “Throw in a Chihuahua and a Coke Habit…” — someday, I could be that loser

Click here to see the new Headline Contest

You Look Slightly Less Chubby in This Bridesmaid’s Dress. How’s That for Supportive?

College girl #1: Ugh, I can’t believe I have to go to my uncle’s wedding. It’s his fucking third one!
College girl #2: His third one?
College girl #1: Yes! Why can’t he just go to some deserted island and get married by himself?!
College girl #3: Well, you can’t really get married by yourself.
College girl #1: Will you please just be supportive? You know what I mean.

–MetroNorth, Harlem Line

Overheard by: rpk

Wednesday One-Liners! Get ’em While They’re Hot!

Comedy hawker: Don’t be afraid, folks. I’m just a friendly black guy, and if you buy tickets from me, I promise not to talk shit about you when you leave!

–Outside McDonald’s, 42nd St

Overheard by: Geneva

Young entrepreneur: Cold beer here! Cold water here! We gots the loosies! We got cold loosies, we got things I can’t say out loud…

–Cony Island

AM New York guy: Free AM New York! Some things in New York are free, folks! When I first came here I got my butt kicked. That was free!

–34th & 7th

Metro paper guy: Free fans! Free Metro fans! Free fans!

–35th & 9th

Overheard by: That’s all they’re good for

Girl handing out posters: Free paper cuts! Free paper cuts! Anyone? Free paper cuts!

–Zune: Live at the BBQ concert

Overheard by: passed on the poster

Another Metro paper guy: Metro! Free paper! Karl Rove leaves White House to form his own Nazi party!

–33rd & Park

Overheard by: beestiegirl

Comedy flyer guy: Live comedy! Do not take this flyer! Good job!

–Times Square

Overheard by: MissPinkKate