Archive for October, 2015

Not Even the Wom­en’s Stud­ies Pro­fes­sor Is Safe From Gi­na and Ash­ley’s Cri­tique

Stu­dent #1: I don’t know why that bitch has such a big ego, she’s fuck­ing ug­ly.
Stu­dent #2: Yeah, I know, but she thinks she’s Paris Hilton or some shit.
Stu­dent #1: She’s prob­a­bly get­ting fucked by some los­er.

–St. John’s Uni­ver­si­ty

Over­heard by: kap­nasty

Head­line by: Leema

Run­ners-Up:
· “…And Tap­ing It to Launch Her “Ca­reer”” — LO­La
· “And I’m Tap­ing It” — Vic­tor
· “Hey, Don’t Call My Dad a Los­er!” — Pe­terG
· “How Guys In­ter­pret the Twi­light Books” — john
· “Just An­oth­er Day Be­hind the Scenes Of “The View”” — Yobo­jo
· “Throw in a Chi­huahua and a Coke Habit…” — some­day, I could be that los­er

Click here to see the new Head­line Con­test

You Look Slight­ly Less Chub­by in This Brides­maid­’s Dress. How’s That for Sup­port­ive?

Col­lege girl #1: Ugh, I can’t be­lieve I have to go to my un­cle’s wed­ding. It’s his fuck­ing third one!
Col­lege girl #2: His third one?
Col­lege girl #1: Yes! Why can’t he just go to some de­sert­ed is­land and get mar­ried by him­self?!
Col­lege girl #3: Well, you can’t re­al­ly get mar­ried by your­self.
(pause)
Col­lege girl #1: Will you please just be sup­port­ive? You know what I mean.

–MetroNorth, Harlem Line

Over­heard by: rpk

Wednes­day One-Lin­ers! Get ’em While They’re Hot!

Com­e­dy hawk­er: Don’t be afraid, folks. I’m just a friend­ly black guy, and if you buy tick­ets from me, I promise not to talk shit about you when you leave!

–Out­side Mc­Don­ald’s, 42nd St

Over­heard by: Gene­va

Young en­tre­pre­neur: Cold beer here! Cold wa­ter here! We gots the loosies! We got cold loosies, we got things I can’t say out loud…

–Cony Is­land

AM New York guy: Free AM New York! Some things in New York are free, folks! When I first came here I got my butt kicked. That was free!

–34th & 7th

Metro pa­per guy: Free fans! Free Metro fans! Free fans!

–35th & 9th

Over­heard by: That’s all they’re good for

Girl hand­ing out posters: Free pa­per cuts! Free pa­per cuts! Any­one? Free pa­per cuts!

–Zune: Live at the BBQ con­cert

Over­heard by: passed on the poster

An­oth­er Metro pa­per guy: Metro! Free pa­per! Karl Rove leaves White House to form his own Nazi par­ty!

–33rd & Park

Over­heard by: beestiegirl

Com­e­dy fly­er guy: Live com­e­dy! Do not take this fly­er! Good job!

–Times Square

Over­heard by: Mis­sPinkKate