Archive for 2015

Better Known As a Herman Cain Party

Girl to guy: How are you?
Guy: I just went to a gay doctor party…
Girl: Those exist?
Guy: Well, there was one.
Girl: That’s not a party, if it was only you and the gay doctor. Well, I guess you could call it a party for two.

–Bowery & Bleecker

Overheard by: Leah

Wednesday One-Liners Drink It All In.

Hip-hop type to two others: Yo, you wanna roll by Friday’s for a quick mudslide?

–Union Square

Overheard by: Heather K

Stylish woman to suit: Excuse me, do you know where there’s a high-end coffee shop around here? I’ve seen a lot of Starbucks, but their coffee is really hard to digest.

–Columbus Circle

Girl to another: I said, those shots must have something in them! But then he kept talking about his ass for awhile.

–Bedford & Myrtle

Overheard by: Sneaky

Flight attendant on PA: This is American Airlines flight 179 to New York’s John F. Kennedy airport – excuse me, to San Francisco! (pause) I need a little more coffee…

–JFK Airport

I’d Like to Have My Life Catered

Overbearing mother, discussing wedding registry: Get a teapot.
Obnoxious squeaky-voiced bride-to-be: But I don’t drink tea!
Overbearing mother: Someone might come over who does. Get a coffee thing, too.
Obnoxious squeaky-voiced bride-to-be: But I don’t know how to make coffee! That’s what Starbucks is for!

–Bouchon Bakery, Columbus Circle

Overheard by: office peon

When “All the Games I Want” = 0

Guy #1: But I don’t need a subscription. I’m illegally streaming all the football games I want!
Guy #2: Oh yeah? Through what?
Guy #1: The internet!

–Heidelberg at 86th and 2nd