Archive for 2015

I Don’t Like Where This Is Going

Older bag lady: How do you think mayor Bloomberg got so rich?
Woman with baby in stroller: I don’t know. How?
Older bag lady: You think by being a slut?
Woman with baby stroller: Maybe.
Older bag lady: How do you think Oprah Winfrey got so rich?
Woman with baby in stroller: I don’t know.
Older bag lady: You think by being a slut?

–Union Square

Overheard by: floridasunshine

In Wednesday One-Liners We Trust

Hipster chick: Popping a blister is like smacking god in the face!

–Fordham University, Lincoln Center

Overheard by: Alice

Homeless man on train begging for money by telling jokes: A black man and a white man go into a bar. They get into a fight with each other. And then they die. And then they go to heaven and god says to them: “What it is… what it is!”

–1 Train

Overheard by: Kristin

Girl to friend: I’m gonna have to get ghetto on god!

–61st & Broadway

Overheard by: lizzerd

Homeless man says to homeless woman: Now, these people are trying to hoodwink god!

–Seventh Ave & Lincoln Place, Park Slope

Overheard by: Annie

Professor to students: God is not a drug dealer!

–Fordham University