Archive for 2015

She Minored in Philosophy.

Lady #1: I majored in anthropology.
Lady #2: I love that store!

–Brooklyn

Overheard by: Joni


…For Instance, “Soy Estúpida”

Young woman #1: Have you eaten there before? (points to restaurant across the street)
Young woman #2: Yeah, it’s pretty good. And it’s all organic.
Young woman #1: That’s cool.
Young woman #2: Yeah, I eat a lot of soy, and most organic stuff is made of soy.

–74th & Amsterdam Ave


Though It Was Kinda Awkward with Everyone at the Coffeeshop Staring at Us

Girl #1: Who were you on a date with last night?
Girl #2: My ex-boyfriend.
Girl #1: What?
Girl #2: Yeah, we call it a date when we hang out so none of our friends will bother us or lecture us. Everyone always assumes we’re just having sex.
Girl #1: Wait, so didn’t you have sex?
Girl #2: Well, yeah, but we didn’t want to be bothered!

–Grand Central

Overheard by: i will not bother you

Are You Talking About Blowing My Nose?

Middle-aged husband: My sinuses are killing me.
Middle-aged wife: You really should try using a neti pot.
Middle-aged husband: No! That’s disgusting! In one nostril and out the other…
Middle-aged wife: Some people think oral sex is disgusting.

–78th St & Amsterdam

Overheard by: Harriet Vane


Wednesday One-Liners Reach Out and Touch Someone

Hot chick: My phone has finally learned to spell ‘cock’ and ‘anal’! I’m so proud!

–King’s Head Tavern, 14th St

Overheard by: Argopelter

Girl on cell: Listen, you in Rikers — you lucky you ain’t get three years! … And you stayin’ there, ’cause I ain’t bailin’ you out… Oh, whatever — if I didn’t care about you, I wouldn’t be usin’ my daytime minutes.

–W train, Astoria, Queens

Overheard by: Juan Moment

Chick on cell: I am your phone sex Yoda! Come, my young padawan! Come!

–Steinway & Ditmars

Overheard by: using the force

Cross-eyed JAP on cell: No, seriously, it’s not my phone. I think there’s something wrong with my chin.

–Times Square

Overheard by: NathAnonymous