Archive for 2015

It’s Wednes­day One-lin­ers, Ba­by

Teen girl on cell: …you just got­ta sit him down and say we’re both preg­nant by him and we wan­na know if we can get along!

–Canal Street

JHS boy: Let’s make like a fe­tus and head out.

–Broad­way & Wash­ing­ton Place

Drunk girl: How could I be preg­nant? I like women!

–Times Square

Thug on cell: Nig­ga, how you been? Shit, I had five kids since I last seen you!

–Eliz­a­beth & Prince

Guy on cell: Do we have to wash you and shave you and put a di­a­per on you be­fore tonight?

–Penn Sta­tion

Over­heard by: djlindee

Like That Awe­some Hobo Who Uri­nat­ed on Us Ear­li­er!

Tourist: I read about this place in that New York book I got from the li­brary.
Guy in line: Did it al­so tell you that when it’s a full moon every­thing is half off?
Tourist to friend: Dude! We should just both get the large, then.
Friend: I love this town and its lit­tle quirks like this.

–Gray’s Pa­paya