Archive for 2015

….And Groom a Bit.

Middle-aged mid-western woman of a certain age #1, gesturing towards naked man and woman standing in doorway: Do they want us to walk through them?
Middle-aged mid-western woman of a certain age #2: Yes. Yes, I think that's the point.
Middle-aged mid-western woman of a certain age #1: Well, okay. (pause) But first I'm gonna eat a mint.

–MoMA, Marina Abramovic Exhibit

Overheard by: aaron(b)

Celebutante Wednesday One-Liners

Drunk girl: Oh my god! I looove Amy Winehouse! But, ugh! Poor bitch is gonna die soon!

–Vynl Restaurant, 51st & 9th

Overheard by: Sitting next to the loudest table

Val Kilmer, noticing a ‘Now Appearing’ sign: Oh! Kris-tin Bell! Not Chris-tian Bale. That makes a lot more sense.

–Big Apple Con, Penn Plaza Pavilion, 33rd & 7th

Nerdy guy: Hey, I may look like Steve-O, but I get more butt than a toilet!

–Outside of The Hog Pit, 13th & 9th

Woman, to friend: … And then Chuck Norris came out of nowhere!

–W 8th St & Ave S

Overheard by: Kat

Clerk girl: Well, she’s kinda like the Korean Melissa Etheridge.

–Duane & Broadway

Overheard by: taylor

Disappointed redneck to fat wife, exiting Olive Garden: Well, we did not see any famous people in there.

–Times Square

…Well It's Da Bomb, Anyway.

Hobo entering train: I just want y'all to know I got a bomb on this train! Ya hear me?! A bomb!
(woman slowly takes out her cell phone)
Hobo: Yo! I got a bomb on this train! Gimme money!
Thug: Yo, man, this dude's crazy, he ain't got no bomb! Where is it?!
Hobo: It's in my pants, mofo!

–6 Train

Overheard by: swizzle