Archive for 2015

Akee­lah and the Bee-Jay

Boy, read­ing a pam­phlet: Umm… Pen­ny-less… Pen-iss.
Girl: It says pe­nis.
Boy: Well, what­ev­er.
Girl: How are you not go­ing to be able to spell some­thing that you have?
Boy: Well, it’s gay to know how to spell pe­nis.

–Mar­ble Hill, the Bronx

Over­heard by: An­gel­i­ca Cayne

What’s a Nice Wednes­day One-Lin­er Like You Do­ing in a Place Like This?

Guy to girl with afro cross­ing the street: Hey gor­geous! Gor­geous! Let me mas­sage your kinky tips!

–8th Ave & W 4th

Com­e­dy club pro­mot­er to hot girl: Hi, do you like com­e­dy? (girl keeps walk­ing) Okay, do you like skin­ny white guys then?

–42nd & Broad­way

Over­heard by: Gali­na

Young boy read­ing aloud in halt­ing mo­not­o­ne: I like that out­fit. It would look great crum­pled up on my bed­room floor to­mor­row morn­ing. You have 206 bones in your body, want one more?

–Bor­ders, Kips Bay

Over­heard by: Emi­ly

Fat white guy in Mets jer­sey to hot blonde: Hel­lo, my name is Tom and I’m horny. (blonde keeps walk­ing)

–Lex­ing­ton & 50th

Black man to fe­male passer­by: S’­cuse me miss… Not to seem rude, but to be honest…for a white girl, you got a nice butt.

–5th Ave

Con­duc­tor on PA: Ladies and gen­tle­men, this last week­end I went to a club…never again. I walked in, sat down at the bar and or­dered a drink. I saw a beau­ti­ful la­dy across the bar, went up to her and said, “Where have you been all my life?” She said back to me “I think for the first half of your life, I was­n’t born.” This is 59th, Colum­bus cir­cle, have a good day, ladies and gen­tle­men.

–A Train