Archive for 2015

Who Won? Discuss.

Eight-year-old Hispanic boy #1: You look like Jennifer Lopez!
Eight-year-old Hispanic boy #2: You look like George Lopez!

–Q Train

Overheard by: Jon A.

Real Sunlight Isn’t Slippery Enough

Queer: So, I freaked out earlier this morning. I went to the bathroom to take a piss, whipped it out, and my dick was brown!
Fag hag, horrified: Did you not clean yourself good after anal?
Queer: No, no, I always do! But, like, I’m thinking I have an STD or something! My heart almost stopped!
Fag hag: So… Do you?
Queer: Well, no. Then I looked at my hand and it was brown, too. Then I remembered — last night I masturbated with my sister’s self tanner.

–Washington Square Park

Overheard by: trying to get the mental image out of my head

Tonight, on a Very Special Wednesday One-Liners

Elderly man, to himself: I find Family Guy highly stimulating.

–Prospect Park

Overheard by: Taylor

Silly party girl: Jersey Shore is more informative then other shows! I mean, it teaches you how to dress and how to have great sex!

–Q Train

NYU girl: Yeah, right now I finally have a solid tuesday/wednesday/thursday line-up cause Glee is back on!

–Gould Plaza

Overheard by: Erin

Hipster to another: MTV is like my grandfather!

–13th St & 6th

Woman to boyfriend: I can watch all those shows you hate, like America's Next Top Grundle.

–N Train

Overheard by: tC

Guy: Oh yeah, she watches that shit all right. And not even ironically!

–Q Train, Brooklyn

He’s Gay on His Mother’s Side

High school girl #1: So he is definitely going to turn out gay.
High school girl #2: Come on. He is not going to be gay. You just think that because he is a nice, well-dressed boy.
High school girl #1: Um, exactly.
High school girl #2: Well, he is Asian! All the guys in Asia wear makeup!
High school girl #1: Stop talking. He’s only half-Asian. And gay.


God! The Sense of Entitlement These Kids Have

Teacher #1: What do they want me to do with my students? They expect me to be able to teach them and they are always late or absent.
Teacher #2: Yeah, my students are always getting shot or something and then they want special treatment and a make-up test.
Teacher #1: Yeah, I know what you mean — they must be gang members.

–86th & Broadway