Man: I wonder why they named him that?
Woman: He must be shaped like their favorite vegetable.
–Midtown elevator
Overheard by: Lero
Archive for 2015
They Come in Black, Right?
Metrosexual guy: Oh, there were babies everywhere in there.
JAP #1: I know, babies are so trendy!
JAP #2: I have to get one.
–Outside Anthropology, 5th Ave
Overheard by: population control
Before the Ceremony Last Week, She Was Latina
Guido: Ya know, you’re very cute.
Asian chick: Um, thanks?
Guido: Wanna sit with me on the train?
Asian chick: No, I’m good.
Guido: Can I getcha numba?
Asian chick: Uh, no, sorry. I just converted. I, um, only go out with Asians now.
–Penn Station
Quite the Fucking Contrary
Angsty chick: I’m so tired of fucking… chicken broccoli bake.
Chill gal pal: Fucking? Sex on the mind?
Angsty chick: I’m not going to change my vocabulary just because I had an experience!
–6 train
Overheard by: i hope you read this
I Just Can’t Master the Teeth Clench and Air of Dissipation
Latina #1: So, this professor went to Yale and shit and he, like, expects us to be Yale material.
Latina #2: I know, I be hatin’ that.
–Locker room, Hunter College
Overheard by: embarrassed to go here
Deleted Scenes for the DVD
Drunk guy: King Kong ain’t got nothing on God almighty!
Sober girl: Stop touching me, you dirty old man.
Drunk guy: I ain’t touching you, woman.
Sober girl: I don’t do trash.
Drunk guy: That’s why I wanchu.
–Q train
Overheard by: Ted Danger, esq.
Another Potential Alzheimer’s Cure Debunked
Old man #1: Would you like something to drink?
Old man #2: Sure, what is there?
Old man #1: Well, there is white wine and white wine.
Old man #2: I’ll take the white wine. What are you having?
Old man #1: White wine.
–Allan Stone Gallery, East 90th Street
Overheard by: Fatty McFingers
If Your Shit’s Breathing, Please Consult a Doctor
Girl #1: I don’t think I can afford to breathe in here.
Girl #2: Fucking hobos and shit breathe in here. I’m sure you’re fine.
–Saks Fifth Avenue
To the Smartphone, Batman!
Preppy kid to fellow preppy kids: “oh, man, I didn’t realize jet li was still alive!“
Preppy friend: “who?“
Preppy kid: “you know, jet li. That asian… Karate… Guy.“
Preppy friend: “you mean bruce lee?“
Preppy kid: “… No…”
–Queens-bound R Train
Overheard by: Kate
…Which May Vary by State
Girl #1, turning left: This way?
Guy: Your other left.
Girl #2, almost simultaneously: Your other right.
–Mott St
