Archive for 2015

Cig­a­rette?

Art teacher to stu­dent, about mix­ing paint: Come in­to it! Come in­to it!
Stu­dent: Uh huh? How’s this?
Teacher: More more! Come! Come! Aaaah­h­h­h­hyesshyesh­h­hyeshh!! Oh, that’s good. That’s beau­ti­ful. Oh great.

–La­Guardia High School

Well, It Is the Num­ber Two Train

(a very ob­nox­ious, lin­ger­ing fart was dropped and filled the en­tire car dur­ing rush hour)
Teen girl to friend: Ohmigod! Let’s get out of here, it smells like shit!
Old man, five min­utes lat­er: What’s the mat­ter with you fuck­ing peo­ple? Some­body open up a god damned win­dow!

–2 Train

Some­how Ru­Paul Al­ways Gets the Short End of the Stick

Black guy: It is the last day of Black His­to­ry Month and no­body sent me a card?
White guy: Well then, hap­py Black His­to­ry Month.
Black guy: Yeah sure, what­ev­er!
White guy: No, se­ri­ous­ly, thank you! Thank you for Char­lie Park­er, Miles Davis, Richard Pry­or…
Black guy: Well I guess to­mor­row I have to back to sit­ting in the back of the bus!
White guy: No! What are you talk­ing about? We don’t pick on blacks any­more! That’s what gays are for!
Black guy: Ohhh!

–Gra­ham Street sta­tion

Over­heard by: Philip Raf­fer­ty