Archive for 2015

Cigarette?

Art teacher to student, about mixing paint: Come into it! Come into it!
Student: Uh huh? How's this?
Teacher: More more! Come! Come! Aaaahhhhhyesshyeshhhyeshh!! Oh, that's good. That's beautiful. Oh great.

–LaGuardia High School

Well, It Is the Number Two Train

(a very obnoxious, lingering fart was dropped and filled the entire car during rush hour)
Teen girl to friend: Ohmigod! Let’s get out of here, it smells like shit!
Old man, five minutes later: What’s the matter with you fucking people? Somebody open up a god damned window!

–2 Train

Somehow RuPaul Always Gets the Short End of the Stick

Black guy: It is the last day of Black History Month and nobody sent me a card?
White guy: Well then, happy Black History Month.
Black guy: Yeah sure, whatever!
White guy: No, seriously, thank you! Thank you for Charlie Parker, Miles Davis, Richard Pryor…
Black guy: Well I guess tomorrow I have to back to sitting in the back of the bus!
White guy: No! What are you talking about? We don’t pick on blacks anymore! That’s what gays are for!
Black guy: Ohhh!

–Graham Street station

Overheard by: Philip Rafferty