Archive for 2015

Spheres of Influence

Woman: I’m sorry, I know this is probably a lot to ask for, so I apologize, but do you think that you could maybe close your legs a little bit, please?
Suit, with his legs still spread wide: No. My balls are too big.

–7 train

Overheard by: cowering in corner

Atlas Winced

Girl: Where is Norfolk again? Virginia?
Guy: No, Long Island. Long Island forks into two parts, Norfolk and Suffolk.


Overheard by: miss n. 

Asian girl #1: Where is Ontario?
Asian girl #2: Um…I think it’s in the Midwest.
Asian girl #1: Oh, really? Is it a state?
Asian girl #2: Hmm…I’m not sure…

–27th & 7th 

New York City, Unfiltered.

Crazy woman in fishnet stockings, lime green sweats, and house slippers in the snow: Do you smoke? Can I have a cigarette?
Passenger #1: Sorry, I don’t have any.
Crazy woman: Do you smoke?
Passenger #2: No.
Crazy woman: You should learn to… it’s the shit!

–M96 Bus

Overheard by: Nonsmoker

If Our Society Has Learned Nothing Else from “Total Request Live”, It’s That.

Teacher: What’s going on, guys? Why are your test scores so low?
Emotional girl: Well, there’s just so much homework and you want to do it all, but you also want to really understand the material and there’s just so much of it, and it’s just so hard and … (squeals loudly)
Girl next to her: Nothing to express teenage angst like a good squeal.

–Bard High School, Queens

Overheard by: Sunny

Let Me Guess– Blood Money?

Man #1: So I found his phone in a pool of blood.
Man #2: Did you ever end up having to pay him?

–5th Ave & 52nd St