Archive for 2015

Spheres of In­flu­ence

Woman: I’m sor­ry, I know this is prob­a­bly a lot to ask for, so I apol­o­gize, but do you think that you could maybe close your legs a lit­tle bit, please?
Suit, with his legs still spread wide: No. My balls are too big.

–7 train

Over­heard by: cow­er­ing in cor­ner

At­las Winced

Girl: Where is Nor­folk again? Vir­ginia?
Guy: No, Long Is­land. Long Is­land forks in­to two parts, Nor­folk and Suf­folk.

–JFK

Over­heard by: miss n.

Asian girl #1: Where is On­tario?
Asian girl #2: Um…I think it’s in the Mid­west.
Asian girl #1: Oh, re­al­ly? Is it a state?
Asian girl #2: Hmm…I’m not sure…

–27th & 7th

New York City, Un­fil­tered.

Crazy woman in fish­net stock­ings, lime green sweats, and house slip­pers in the snow: Do you smoke? Can I have a cig­a­rette?
Pas­sen­ger #1: Sor­ry, I don’t have any.
Crazy woman: Do you smoke?
Pas­sen­ger #2: No.
Crazy woman: You should learn to… it’s the shit!

–M96 Bus

Over­heard by: Non­smok­er

If Our So­ci­ety Has Learned Noth­ing Else from “To­tal Re­quest Live”, It’s That.

Teacher: What’s go­ing on, guys? Why are your test scores so low?
Emo­tion­al girl: Well, there’s just so much home­work and you want to do it all, but you al­so want to re­al­ly un­der­stand the ma­te­r­i­al and there’s just so much of it, and it’s just so hard and … (squeals loud­ly)
Girl next to her: Noth­ing to ex­press teenage angst like a good squeal.

–Bard High School, Queens

Over­heard by: Sun­ny