Archive for 2015

There’s No Pill for What Wednes­day One-Lin­ers Have

Ner­vous hip­ster: You know, it’s re­al­ly true what they say about friends with eczema…

–50th & 8th

Over­heard by: chris

Guy on cell: So she got can­cer, big fuckin deal!

–1st Ave & St. Mark’s

Man on cell: Next time they call, just po­lite­ly say there’s no one here with di­a­betes.

–Cen­tral Park

Over­heard by: Lo­la Black

Woman ex­it­ing car: There’s this bump be­tween my ass and cooch. I think I should get that checked.

–W 4th St

20-some­thing guy to 40-some­thing woman: Look, I’m not say­ing I’m not con­cerned about my hand be­ing sticky, but I’m more con­cerned about malar­ia.

–Café

…Now Cut Me, Mick!

Man to woman try­ing to get in­to car sur­round­ed by snow: It’s not go­ing to be easy.
Woman: Well, if Rock­y’s taught us any­thing it’s that there’s no easy way out.

–8th Ave & 41 St

Not Even the Wom­en’s Stud­ies Pro­fes­sor Is Safe From Gi­na and Ash­ley’s Cri­tique

Stu­dent #1: I don’t know why that bitch has such a big ego, she’s fuck­ing ug­ly.
Stu­dent #2: Yeah, I know, but she thinks she’s Paris Hilton or some shit.
Stu­dent #1: She’s prob­a­bly get­ting fucked by some los­er.

–St. John’s Uni­ver­si­ty

Over­heard by: kap­nasty

Head­line by: Leema

Run­ners-Up:
· “…And Tap­ing It to Launch Her “Ca­reer”” — LO­La
· “And I’m Tap­ing It” — Vic­tor
· “Hey, Don’t Call My Dad a Los­er!” — Pe­terG
· “How Guys In­ter­pret the Twi­light Books” — john
· “Just An­oth­er Day Be­hind the Scenes Of “The View”” — Yobo­jo
· “Throw in a Chi­huahua and a Coke Habit…” — some­day, I could be that los­er

Click here to see the new Head­line Con­test

You Look Slight­ly Less Chub­by in This Brides­maid­’s Dress. How’s That for Sup­port­ive?

Col­lege girl #1: Ugh, I can’t be­lieve I have to go to my un­cle’s wed­ding. It’s his fuck­ing third one!
Col­lege girl #2: His third one?
Col­lege girl #1: Yes! Why can’t he just go to some de­sert­ed is­land and get mar­ried by him­self?!
Col­lege girl #3: Well, you can’t re­al­ly get mar­ried by your­self.
(pause)
Col­lege girl #1: Will you please just be sup­port­ive? You know what I mean.

–MetroNorth, Harlem Line

Over­heard by: rpk