Archive for 2015

Grand Slam Wednesday One-Liners

Man selling CDs: If you like the Mets, you will love my album!

–8th & Broadway

Overheard by: nicole

Mets fan: I don’t care if I have one lung, or only have half a pancreas, or if I lose a leg falling in front of the train. As long as the Mets win, I’m good to go.

–7 train

Asshole, pointing to guy with Red Sox bumper sticker on his wheelchair: He’s a Boston fan; let’s kick his ass! Oh wait, looks like God beat us to it.

–126th & St Nick

Conductor, on PA: That Johnny Damon. He sure looks like Jesus. But he sure throws like my little sister.

–Amtrak train out of Penn Station

Overheard by: Lisita

MTA worker: All people for the Mets game, go to your right. All people for the US Open, if any, go to your left.

–Willets Point-Shea Stadium subway station

Overheard by: Emily

Thugette: Yo, when I make it in show business, I will not speak to Ben Affleck. When I found out he’s a Red Sox fan, I decided then and there.

–Q65 bus

Overheard by: A White Bear

Conductor: 161st Street, Yankee Stadium. Let Big Papi know who the real MVP is.

–D train

Overheard by: Lindsay J.

Besides, I Love Her

Man #1: I swear, if she asks me if I love her one more time I’m going to punch her in the goddamn face. She’s driving me up a fucking wall!
Man #2: Maybe you should just break up with her.
Man #1: What, and be alone?

–On 66 West cross town