Archive for 2015

Plus Her Sta­tus Up­dates Are More In­ter­est­ing Than Ever

Grad­u­ate stu­dent #1: Should I re­move the dead girl from my Face­book friends? It’s kind of sad when she comes up.
Grad­u­ate stu­dent #2: No.
Grad­u­ate stu­dent #1: Why not?
Grad­u­ate stu­dent #2: Would­n’t it be even sad­der if she was dead and had no Face­book friends?

–114th & Am­s­ter­dam

Over­heard by: Daniel

See, This Is Why You’re in Ad­vanced Place­ment Class­es.

Girl #1: My dad’s Face­book pic­ture is of my sis­ter’s dog, so when­ev­er he calls me, a pho­to of the dog shows up and I al­ways want to be like “Rah! Woof!” when I an­swer it.
Girl #2: You should make the ring­tone a dog bark­ing! So it’s like it’s re­al that the dog is call­ing you!

–Chelsea

Over­heard by: Kather­ine

Wednes­day Fun­bag-Lin­ers

Teenage girl: Ohmigod. Does­n’t she know that the “hav­ing big boobs” thing is, like, not in any­more?

–86th St

Over­heard by: Kevin

Girl to an­oth­er: It splashed on my boob… Then he slurped it off!

–Charles & 4th

Over­heard by: Er­ic

20-some­thing guy, singing: I wan­na touch some boobs. I wan­na touch some boobs. I wan­na touch some boobs. I wan­na find my moth­er­fuck­ing sock, ’cause I don’t know where it is. I wan­na touch some boobs…

–Pratt In­sti­tute

An­gry hobo to col­lege chick with big boobs zip­ping up her jack­et: Don’t put them tit­ties away!

–5th & 21st

El­der­ly woman to hus­band: I keep my busi­ness in my bo­som!

–Carnegie Deli