Archive for 2015

See, This Is Why You’re in Advanced Placement Classes.

Girl #1: My dad’s Facebook picture is of my sister’s dog, so whenever he calls me, a photo of the dog shows up and I always want to be like “Rah! Woof!” when I answer it.
Girl #2: You should make the ringtone a dog barking! So it’s like it’s real that the dog is calling you!


Overheard by: Katherine

Wednesday Funbag-Liners

Teenage girl: Ohmigod. Doesn’t she know that the “having big boobs” thing is, like, not in anymore?

–86th St

Overheard by: Kevin

Girl to another: It splashed on my boob… Then he slurped it off!

–Charles & 4th

Overheard by: Eric

20-something guy, singing: I wanna touch some boobs. I wanna touch some boobs. I wanna touch some boobs. I wanna find my motherfucking sock, ’cause I don’t know where it is. I wanna touch some boobs…

–Pratt Institute

Angry hobo to college chick with big boobs zipping up her jacket: Don’t put them titties away!

–5th & 21st

Elderly woman to husband: I keep my business in my bosom!

–Carnegie Deli