Archive for 2015

The Typical Teenage Dystopian Future

Youth #1: We should see Hunger Games!
Youth #2: Is it scary? I don't like scary.
Youth #1: No, it's about the the future.
Youth #2: Like 1984?
Youth #1: Yeah, but, like, in the future.

–Holland Tunnel

Overheard by: lolyutes

He Hates Sweeping Up Shattered Ethnic Stereotypes

Old Jewish man: My doorman doesn't like me.
Younger retired Jewish man with dog: Why?
Old Jewish man: If I told you, you wouldn't believe it. I had a bunch of newspapers I had to throw out, but I had to put them in the recycling bin. So I was opening it up when a black woman said to me, “aw, sir, you don't have to go through the garbage!” and she gave me twenty dollars!
Younger retired Jewish man with dog: You didn't keep it, did you?
Old Jewish man: She dashed away down the stairs! I had to.
Younger retired Jewish man with dog: And the doorman saw that?
Old Jewish man: Uh-huh.

–Chase Bank, Queens Blvd

In Fairness, Sinatra Never Mentioned That New York Has Hobos

20-something girl #1: I hate that I kinda like that new song by Katy Perry–California girls.
20-something girl #2: That bitch is lying. I was just in LA, and the goddamn beach was freezing, and there were nothing but hippies on the boardwalk.
20-something girl #1: I guess… Maybe Katy was trying to help California tourism.

–22nd St & 7th Ave