Archive for 2015

Wednesday One-Liners Thought “Elemeno” Was a Letter

Lady on cell: Yes, that’s right. N as in ‘Nancy,’ M as in ‘umbrella’…

–Brooklyn Botanic Garden

Conductor: This is a downtown V train — V as in ‘vasectomy.’

–5th Ave

Overheard by: Kim

MTA announcement: The next train is a Brooklyn-bound C train. C as in ‘Shelly.’

–59th St station

Overheard by: Trey Givens

Loud man on cell: No, no, her name starts with an F… No, F… F like in ‘phonics’! What? It doesn’t? Oh, well, I guess you could spell it that way, too.

–L train

Loudspeaker: This is the B‑as-in-‘badass’ train. Transfer to the D and Four.

–Yankee Stadium station

Ghetto girl on cell: C… No! C — like the last letter in ‘New York.’

–103rd & Lex

Romantic Comedies Get Worse Every Year

Guy #1: Dude, I heard your ex was totally cheap.
Guy #2: Yeah, man. Like one time she roomed with a retarded person to get reduced rent.

–3rd Ave & St. Mark’s

Overheard by: Barton

Some of Us Call It Seared

Guy #1: The menu is on the board.
Guy #2: What’s the sea red dumpling?
Guy #1: Sea red? What are you talking about?
Guy #2: Right there, monster…sea red.

–Dumpling Man, St. Marks Place

Overheard by: Rathan Haran