Archive for 2016

Ho, Ho, Ho!

Girl #1: What did you get from your secret Santa?
Girl #2: Just some soaps and smelly stuff from Bath & Body Works. Oh, and a free promotional CD that my secret Santa told me was free.
Girl #1: Who was your secret Santa anyway?
Girl #2: Amy. I saw what she got from her secret Santa. It was a Santa vibrator.
Girl #1: A Santa vibrator! Much cooler than soaps and a free CD.
Girl #2: Yeah, I guess so. Until I stole the Santa vibrator off her desk. It was fucking small, though. As big as my pinkie. 

–N train

Overheard by: michelle luvey 

Also, Our Eyes aren’t Open as Wide

College chick #1: Have you ever noticed it always gets dark really early during this time of year?
College chick #2: Yeah, I noticed it, too. But I was thinking that since it’s generally cloudier in autumn and winter that it really isn’t dark out earlier, it’s just really cloudy.
College chick #1: Wow, that makes so much sense!

–Riverdale

That’s Not True! I Totally Worry About Terrorists Now, Too.

Girl, lunching with friends: So I read my diary from when I was six. The first page I wrote, “dear diary, I’m so worried about my future. What am I going to do for my job? Where am I going to go to college?“
Friend: Looks like you haven’t changed much.

–Cosi, Union Square

Overheard by: …and I thought I was crazy.


It’s Like the MySpace of Birds

Truly urban son: Look, mom, an eagle!
Mom: No, Gabe, it’s just a pigeon.

–The Bronx

Overheard by: Natasha

Headline by: Brian

Runners-Up:
· “But It’s a Bronx Pigeon, So It Acts Like an Eagle” — PeterG
· “Kudos to the Science Teachers at P.S. 51” — Los
· “The Cash-Strapped Bronx Zoo Wasn’t Fooling Anyone” — Coyoty
· “The True Symbol Of America” — BabakganoosH
· “This Is the Bronx, Let Him Dream…” — Lacey

Click here to see the new Headline Contest