Archive for 2016

Plus, She’s Deaf. And German.

Man: I’m thinking about learning Japanese so I can speak to my wife’s grandmother.
Lady: That’s cool.
Man: Nah, actually, I don’t think I will. She’s old and only has a couple of years left anyhow. Forget it.

–E 19th & Park Ave South

Headline by: boyhowdy

Runners-Up:
· “Besides, I Hate When She Talks During Sex” — Trey Jackson
· “But Those Gums Look So Soft & Enticing…” — wvs
· “Come to Think Of It, Maybe We’ll Stop Feeding Her, Too.” — Bobbing for Lucky Charms
· “He Clearly Has No Idea Just How Long Japanese Women Live” — Gaijin
· “Man, Fuck Old People.” — RaRa
· “She Can’t Be That Old. I Mean, Your Wife’s 14.” — RaRa
· “THAT’S for Pearl Harbor” — Daniel Patterson

Click here to see the new Headline Contest

Hold Your Breath Until You Solve Unified Field

Girl #1: Being doped up on allergy medication probably isn’t the best time to confront an ex, right?
Girl #2: Right, definitely not.
Girl #1: And I probably only want to because I’m too stupid to think otherwise. I really love being able to breathe, but I wish it wasn’t at the price of my brain.

–Penn Station

Overheard by: Rachael Swiss