Archive for 2016

WOL­ing Me Soft­ly

Grand­ma to kid: It’s re­al­ly hard to kill peo­ple, you know.

–West Vil­lage

(20-some­thing sits down and stretch­es his arms out in a yawn)
Man sit­ting one seat away: If you touch my leg I’ll kill you.

–1 Train

Mid­dle-aged beef­cake on phone: Oh yeah? Well he’s not try­ing any­more be­cause he’s dead.

–42nd & Lex

Over­heard by: bildita

Suit on cell: He was a great guy, un­til he de­cid­ed to kill some­one.

–Smith & Wol­len­sky

Loud woman on pay­phone (very an­gri­ly): Well what the fuck am I sup­posed to do with her? Mau­soleum? What? What the fuck?

–96th & Madi­son

Over­heard by: grate­ful un­dead

Sev­en-year-old black boy: I’m goin’ to Iraq, to kill Oba­ma!

–125th & Am­s­ter­dam

Over­heard by: The Drum­mey

Don’t Drink and Wednes­day One-Lin­er

Lamar from Re­venge of the Nerds look-alike: Well, you tell her that I will cut Miss Daisy be­fore I dri­ve her.

–51st & 8th

Over­heard by: Nigel

Chick to guy: I’ll give you 20 bucks and suck your dick the whole way if you give me a ride home.

–5th & 2nd

Woman to man: Well, if we’re not go­ing to dri­ve any­where, we might as well drink!

–Mul­ber­ry St

Over­heard by: Hazel

La­dy to friend: Yeah, he trad­ed the Cam­ry for a Tahoe, so now the sperm and eggs can all fit in­to one car.

–49th & 5th

Over­heard by: seann r

Mes­sen­ger with hand truck: Tell them there is no fuck­ing truck — I’m the truck!

–28th & 7th