Black postman #1: Kiss my black ass!
Black postman #2: How do you know that it’s black?
–Forest Hills post office
Archive for 2016
So He’s Really Only Invisible at Night
Prep school boy #1: I’m reading The Invisible Man, but I’m really disappointed.
Prep school boy #2: Really?
Prep school boy #1: Yeah, I mean, he’s not really invisible, you know?
Prep school boy #2: He’s not?
Prep school boy #1: No, he’s just black.
–96 Crosstown bus
You'd Prefer the Mitt Romney Cervical Cap?
Guy on the street: Getcher Obama condoms!
Teenage daughter: Mom, want an Obama condom?
Mother, snarling: I hate Obama.
–Broadway & Prince St
Overheard by: laptopkitty
The Day Everybody's Deodorant Failed at Once
Boy (shouting): Damn son, smell like train up in here!
Flaming gay guy: You aint smellin' like flowers either, 'kay?
–D Train
Hence Our New Motto: “USPS: Moving Forward”
Anxious woman, running up to counter: The postal truck is blocking my car! I asked him to move and he wouldn’t! All he has to do is put the truck in reverse!
Postal worker lady: He don’t know how to. Obviously.
–125th St Post Office
Tomorrow I’m Migrating Back to Brazil
Bouncer: Weren’t you here on Saturday night?
Girl: No, I was a caterpillar on Saturday.
–Steinway, 31st Ave, Astoria
Overheard by: Lefty
Flier: ‘Make Big Bucks as an Organ Grinder!’
Chinese man in rice hat passing out fliers, to man’s spaniel: Monkey, monkey, monkey.
Fat, bald owner to dog: Don’t talk to him.
–W Houston & Thompson
Overheard by: J&M
Arrange a MoMA Intervention
Girl #1: I just don’t know if I can love him anymore.
Girl #2, giggling: Why not?
Girl #1: Stop laughing! What would you do if your boyfriend had a thing for dolphin art?!
–East Village