Archive for 2016

Tonight on Ball­Busters

Gui­do: I want to see if I can kick his balls through his hat.
Girl: Through his hat?
Gui­do: Yeah, they’d have to go through his brain and skull first, though.
Guy #1: I’m pret­ty sure they’d get stuck like halfway through his ab­domen.
Guy #2: They’d prob­a­bly burst, ac­tu­al­ly.

–A Train

Over­heard by: Bri­an

Along With the De­men­tia I Al­ready Have

Pro­pri­etor: I heard you had a fall.
Oc­to­ge­nar­i­an: Oh, yes. I had a fall. They even took me to the hos­pi­tal for six hours. They test­ed me for every­thing ex­cept syphilis.
Pro­pri­etor: That’s what they’re sup­posed to test you for first.
Oc­to­ge­nar­i­an: I wish I had syphilis. At least then I’d be hav­ing some fun.

–73rd & Colum­bus Ave

Over­heard by: G