Archive for 2016

A Home is a Ter­ri­ble Thing to Waste

Hobo: ‘Scuse me. You wan­na give a quar­ter to the Unit­ed Ne­gro Piz­za Fund?

–44th & 8th

Hobo: Lis­ten, girls, do you care to do­nate to the Unit­ed Ne­gro Pas­tra­mi Sand­wich Fund?

–Bow­ery be­tween 3rd & 4th

Hobo: Would you like to do­nate to the Unit­ed Ne­gro Piz­za Fund?

–82nd & Am­s­ter­dam

Over­heard by: Leigh

Hobo: Can you of­fer a con­tri­bu­tion to the Unit­ed Ne­gro I Did­n’t Go to Col­lege Fund?

–60th & Colum­bus

Trans­la­tion: I’m To­tal­ly A‑OK With You Get­ting Ar­rest­ed

Hip­ster on cell: So, are you gonna pee on the sub­way or hold it?
Fu­ture sub­way peeer: (in­audi­ble re­sponse)
Hip­ster on cell: Yeah, dude, I do it all the time. Just do your thing in the cor­ner, open the side door, an’ let it slosh out when you’re movin’ be­tween sta­tions. Dude, even women do it. To­tal­ly a‑okay!

–67th St & Colum­bus

Over­heard by: kjirsten john­son

Some­one Who’s Will­ing to Go Be­yond “It’s Com­pli­cat­ed”

NYU girl to friend: So then he like bitched me out, hard­core, in a text. And he did­n’t talk to me for like a day so I was just like, “Ugh, what­ev­er.” But then he end­ed our re­la­tion­ship on face­book! And I was just like, “Oh my god!” I need some­one who’s ma­ture, y’­know?
Friend: Oh… Yeah. To­tal­ly.


Over­heard by: Clook

Wednes­day One-lin­ers Are the New Laven­der

Crazy guy: Why did the di­nosaurs go ex­tinct? Why did the di­nosaurs go ex­tinct? Why did the di­nosaurs go ex­tinct? Ho­mo­sex­u­al­i­ty! Heh heh heh.

–53rd Street sta­tion

Guy on cell: No, I’m wait­ing for the ferry…No, not him; the boat that goes in­to the city.

–Stat­en Is­land Fer­ry Ter­mi­nal, Stat­en Is­land

Over­heard by: Chris Cot­ter­man

Girl: She said she was­n’t at­tract­ed to me! I mean, I’m straight as a goat, but…am I ug­ly?

–R train

Over­heard by: Shan­non Bow­man-Sark­isian

Mid­dle-aged guy: You know, some­body needs to tell gay men that they’re not 17 year old girls.

–David Bar­ton Gym, 23rd Street

Queer: For God’s sake, be cre­ative. We’re gay!

–West Elm, 18th Street

Woman on cell: It’s re­al­ly gay out­side right now.

–Bow­ery & 4th

Dude: I thought I saw Matt Da­mon; then I re­al­ized it was just a gay guy.

–Bar­row Street

Crazy guy: And what do gay peo­ple do with the mon­ey they save on child sup­port? The pa­rade! They pay for the pa­rade.

–53rd Street sta­tion