Archive for 2016

A Home is a Terrible Thing to Waste

Hobo: ‘Scuse me. You wanna give a quarter to the United Negro Pizza Fund?

–44th & 8th

Hobo: Listen, girls, do you care to donate to the United Negro Pastrami Sandwich Fund?

–Bowery between 3rd & 4th

Hobo: Would you like to donate to the United Negro Pizza Fund?

–82nd & Amsterdam

Overheard by: Leigh

Hobo: Can you offer a contribution to the United Negro I Didn’t Go to College Fund?

–60th & Columbus

Translation: I'm Totally A-OK With You Getting Arrested

Hipster on cell: So, are you gonna pee on the subway or hold it?
Future subway peeer: (inaudible response)
Hipster on cell: Yeah, dude, I do it all the time. Just do your thing in the corner, open the side door, an' let it slosh out when you're movin' between stations. Dude, even women do it. Totally a-okay!

–67th St & Columbus

Overheard by: kjirsten johnson

Someone Who’s Willing to Go Beyond “It’s Complicated”

NYU girl to friend: So then he like bitched me out, hardcore, in a text. And he didn’t talk to me for like a day so I was just like, “Ugh, whatever.” But then he ended our relationship on facebook! And I was just like, “Oh my god!” I need someone who’s mature, y’know?
Friend: Oh… Yeah. Totally.

–NYU

Overheard by: Clook

Wednesday One-liners Are the New Lavender

Crazy guy: Why did the dinosaurs go extinct? Why did the dinosaurs go extinct? Why did the dinosaurs go extinct? Homosexuality! Heh heh heh.

–53rd Street station

Guy on cell: No, I’m waiting for the ferry…No, not him; the boat that goes into the city.

–Staten Island Ferry Terminal, Staten Island

Overheard by: Chris Cotterman

Girl: She said she wasn’t attracted to me! I mean, I’m straight as a goat, but…am I ugly?

–R train

Overheard by: Shannon Bowman-Sarkisian

Middle-aged guy: You know, somebody needs to tell gay men that they’re not 17 year old girls.

–David Barton Gym, 23rd Street

Queer: For God’s sake, be creative. We’re gay!

–West Elm, 18th Street

Woman on cell: It’s really gay outside right now.

–Bowery & 4th

Dude: I thought I saw Matt Damon; then I realized it was just a gay guy.

–Barrow Street

Crazy guy: And what do gay people do with the money they save on child support? The parade! They pay for the parade.

–53rd Street station