Archive for 2016

That Just Means You’re Drug­ging Them Too Much

Suit #1: I re­al­ly en­joy a lit­tle some­thing in the morn­ing be­fore I leave for work.
Suit #2: Yeah, but for some rea­son the the hot chicks don’t wake up ear­ly.

–6th Ave & 40th St

Over­heard by: kevin

This Has to Do With De­gras­si High How?

Tourist guy: Why are all the signs in Chi­nese?
New York guy: Be­cause we’re in Chi­na­town.
Tourist guy: But should­n’t they have to ad­ver­tise in Eng­lish?
New York guy: New York is­n’t Que­bec.
Tourist guy: What?
New York guy: Dude, you don’t even know the dif­fer­ence be­tween Chi­nese and Ko­re­an, you’ll nev­er un­der­stand a ref­er­ence to Que­be­coise French.

–Ba­yard & Mott

Over­heard by: iiams

Ah, the Beau­ty Of Queens

Youth #1: Would you rather be a mon­key or a gay guy?
Youth #2: Gay guy.
Youth #3: Gay guy.
Youth #2: Every­body likes gay guys. And mon­keys are ug­ly as hell.

–Sun­ny­side, Queens

Wednes­day One-Lin­ers Scream ‘Gen­der Sur­prise!’

Girl to friend: … And it was like, ‘Bam! I have a pe­nis, too, man.’

–W 4th & 6th

Crazy guy: The rev­o­lu­tion is in my pussy! The rev­o­lu­tion is in my vagi­na!

–Wash­ing­ton Square Park

Prep school gangs­ta leav­ing train: Yo, man, grab his tits! Yeah!

–C train

Over­heard by: An­n­earchist

Guy yelling in­to cell: I’m an in­tel­li­gent woman! So I think…

–59th St, Colum­bus Cir­cle

NYU chick: If I was a her­maph­ro­dite, then I would to­tal­ly un­der­stand what they were talk­ing about.

–Shade, W 3rd & Sul­li­van

Wednes­day Undie-Lin­ers

Woman on cell: Okay, but this time please stay out of my un­der­wear draw­er.

–As­tor Place

Over­heard by: Jess

Over­con­fi­dent guy: I know, I know. You say you have a 3.7 at NYU Law, and the panties just drop.

–Dorm, NYU Law

Over­heard by: hold­ing­back­laugh­ter

Lit­tle old la­dy on park bench to an­oth­er: Well, I’ve been stuff­ing my bra now, and now I can’t find my mon­ey.

–Cen­tral Park West & 63rd St

Over­heard by: Jen

Woman: My dog on­ly eats my un­der­wear. He does­n’t eat my son’s. He does­n’t eat my hus­band’s. On­ly mine! I won­der why. (paus­es to think) Hmm… it must be that fem­i­nine smell.

–E 40th St

Over­heard by: TMI

Livid man on cell: No! You can’t have your un­der­wear back!