Archive for June, 2017

To Con­fuse As­sas­sins

Con­fused lit­tle boy look­ing at dozens of San­tas in San­ta­con: I thought there is on­ly one San­ta Claus.
Moth­er: Those are San­ta’s helpers. San­ta can’t do every­thing by him­self.
Lit­tle boy: But why are they dressed like San­ta?
Moth­er, ex­as­per­at­ed: I don’t know.

–3 train, Times Square

Over­heard by: Er­ic Kuo

The Wednes­day One-Lin­ers be­hind the Badge

Male cop to an­oth­er: Did I tell you to­day how much I love you?

–34th & 8th

Over­heard by: Egon

Thug jump­ing on­to train just as doors were clos­ing: Yo, what train is this? Nah, I don’t care as long as the cops did­n’t see me.

–C train, Penn Sta­tion

Over­heard by: go rangers!

Cop car loud­speak­er to ran­dom dri­ver: Please use your turn sig­nal when you make an il­le­gal left turn and cut off the bus caus­ing an ac­ci­dent.

–8th & Uni­ver­si­ty

Over­heard by: mis­spen­ny

Con­duc­tor: Do not go in be­tween cars at any time, whether or not the train is mov­ing. This is be­com­ing a po­lice state. That’s why I’m out­ta here.

–S train, Grand Cen­tral

Over­heard by: Hame­tu­ka