Mexican lady: Simpsons Movie, five dollars.
Young boy: Look, Dad The Simpsons Movie…
Dad: If you don’t shut the fuck up about The Simpsons Movie, I’m gonna throw you in front of the goddamn train!
–5 train
Overheard by: ARi
Archive for 2017
The Jury Will Disregard This Testimony
Woman #1: Yo, you need to come out tonight! We’re going to that strip club!
Woman #2: Yo! Not in front of my son!
Woman #1: Oh, sorry! But it’s that good one we were at that other time.
Woman #2: Damn, yeah! That was some crazy shit!
–Pizzeria, Graham Ave
Overheard by: Mr. Man
Not About C through F, Though.
Concerned man to friend: So, wait, does girl A know about girl B?
Friend, nonchalantly: Yeah.
–Fordham & Crotona
Editor’s Notes: Less Smiting; More Compelling Central Character
Jock #1: If I give you a book, will you read it?
Jock #2: Yeah. What’s the title?
Jock #1: It’s called The New Testament.
Jock #2: Man, I had to read the old version for class…
–Fordham University
Overheard by: jack
You Are the Worst Jewish Vegetarian Ever
Hippie: Dude, I found this place that makes the best veggie burger ever!
Friend: Cool… So, they’ll put bacon on mine, right?
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Megan
Pat Herself Has Transitioned from Babe to MILF
Thug #1: Oh, shit son… Pat Benatar is gonna be here.
Thug #2, singing: Love Is a Battlefield… that shit is hot.
Thug #1: Yeah, man!
–42nd St, BB King Blues Club
Overheard by: king of the gypsies
Some People Have Pride in Their Work
Conductor: Dyckman Street’s next.
Teen boy who kicked down the door of the back car and got on the intercom: Yeah, motherfucker! Dyckman Street’s next, nigga!
–1 train near 191st
Overheard by: vegannramember
…So Go Ahead and Make Your “Hardwood” Jokes
Slick guy: So, do the curtains match the carpet?
Hot bleached blonde: There is no carpet.
Slick guy: Oh.
–Starbucks, Times Square
Some NYC History, Overheard Style
Slacker #1: You know that ships used to come up the river and dock in the West Village?
Slacker #2: Really, man?
Slacker #1: Yeah, really. They used to let the sailors out there…yeah, that’s where the term “Hey Sailor” came from.
–Prince Street laundromat
Japanese girl: If this is New York, where are Old York?
Japanese Dad: I think that is in England.
–59th & 6th
Overheard by: Svein Brunstad
Kid Must Not Be from New Jersey
Conductor to young boy knocking on bathroom door: If it’s locked, it means someone’s in there and if no one’s in there, it’s probably better not to go in.
Fellow passenger: Yeah, mucho stinko!
–NJ Transit
Overheard by: Jarett
