Guy #1: Is that the last Harry Potter?
Girl with book: No, there’s one more after this.
Guy #1: What? How old is he? Isn’t he getting a little old to be in school?
Guy #2: He’s special, that’s why he goes to magic school.
Girl with book: Yeah, Harry rides the short train to school.
–Newark airport
Overheard by: Jujubee
Woman #1: Didn’t she send her children to Israel?
Woman #2: No, that was Germany. It was free, one of those “Sorry we killed your family, come back and see us sometime” things.
–Sunnyside, SI
Yuppie wife to husband: I bet I know what those stains are on your gloves…
Husband: I highly doubt I was fingering you with these gloves on.
–Whole Foods Escalator, Time Warner Center
Overheard by: A-Robb
Promoter guy: Hey, see a comedy show! Is your relationship in trouble? Humor will help
Girl: No, thanks.
Promoter guy: Your relationship’s in trouble.
Girl: Yeah, like your career.
–42nd & 7th
Suit #1: So I’d been working out for two hours a day, almost daily, for a few months.
Suit #2: How was that?
Suit #1: Well I wasn’t losing any weight, so then I remembered… I’m really rich, I could just get lipo.
–Nassau & Wall St.
Overheard by: slave for the man