Archive for 2017

Aww, a Happy Ending!

Man: Grrr… Watch it, lady, don’t push me with your bag!
Lady: Sorry, sir, this is a crowded bus and it’s winter.
Man: Yeah, it’s winter, merry Christmas.
Lady: Yeah, Christmas, everybody’s full of holiday cheer.
Man: Yeah, holidays, god bless America.
Lady: Yeah, god bless America.

–M34 Bus

Overheard by: M34ista

I’m Guessing Someplace in Long Island

Chick #1: Hey, guess what I found out?
Chick #2: What?
Chick #1: Bugs Bunny is from Brooklyn!
Chick #2: That’s bullshit. Last time I checked, Bugs Bunny lived in a hole, not a brownstone.
Chick #1: Ha, ha! I love you. I swear, you’re so witty sometimes. I’m not even kidding.
Chick #2: I know, right? I don’t know where I come up with this stuff.

–Rockefeller Plaza

So Much for Learning by Osmosis

Receptionist of 30 years: Is ‘lawsuit’ one word or two?
Intern: Uh, I believe it’s two.
Receptionist, to herself: Lawsuit. Lawsuit. Lawsuit. It should be two. I always wondered why they called it a suit. It doesn’t wear a jacket or pants. Oh, but the attorneys do. Maybe that’s why — because the attorneys have to wear suits to court. Wow, I can’t believe I figured that out after so many years.
Boss, walking in from next office: So! Linda! Have you thought some more about the retirement package you were offered?

–Law firm, Midtown