Archive for 2017

If Hon­ey, I Shrunk the Kids Had Been Set in New York

Clear­ly frus­trat­ed dad, drag­ging along son about twen­ty paces be­hind: C’­mon! We’re go­ing to be late!
Five-year-old son: No! And I want to talk to my shrink right now!


Over­heard by: Tanya Munroe

Wednes­day One-Lin­ers Pre­fer “Pleas­ant­ly Plump”

Guy on phone: That’s not the prob­lem, straight guys who are fat­ter than me get laid all the time.

–Time Warn­er Cen­ter

Man on cell: Of course I’ll rec­og­nize you! Un­less you got fat!

–Sheep­’s Mead­ow, Cen­tral Park

Gay black man: Uh uh. Girl, her fat ass will so not make it. You bet­ter not bring her here.

–Bleeck­er & Broad­way

Over­heard by: fel­low fa­tass

Ex­cit­ed young teen on cell: Dad! Guess what celebri­ty we just met?! The Weight Watch­ers la­dy! No, the old one! Yeah, Kirstie Al­ley! We got her au­to­graph! She’s re­al fat now! We met her in the choco­late store!

–W Broad­way & Spring

Over­heard by: JR

Fat chick: Do not tell me I’m not a size 4!

–Cen­tral Park West

Over­heard by: Rich H