Archive for 2017

The Wednes­day One-Lin­ers be­hind the Badge

Male cop to an­oth­er: Did I tell you to­day how much I love you?

–34th & 8th

Over­heard by: Egon

Thug jump­ing on­to train just as doors were clos­ing: Yo, what train is this? Nah, I don’t care as long as the cops did­n’t see me.

–C train, Penn Sta­tion

Over­heard by: go rangers!

Cop car loud­speak­er to ran­dom dri­ver: Please use your turn sig­nal when you make an il­le­gal left turn and cut off the bus caus­ing an ac­ci­dent.

–8th & Uni­ver­si­ty

Over­heard by: mis­spen­ny

Con­duc­tor: Do not go in be­tween cars at any time, whether or not the train is mov­ing. This is be­com­ing a po­lice state. That’s why I’m out­ta here.

–S train, Grand Cen­tral

Over­heard by: Hame­tu­ka

No Green Eggs and Ham, Please, Sam-I-Am

Din­er: Can I al­so get the gar­den fresh sal­ad?
Serv­er: We don’t have that any­more. Do you want the fresh gar­den sal­ad?
Din­er: Yes.

–122nd St & Am­s­ter­dam