Girl #1: I just don’t know what he sees in me.
Girl #2: Maybe the same thing you see in him.
Girl #1: Well, I like him because his dad’s a mortician.
–Park Slope
Archive for 2017
When Rabbits Threaten Blackmail.
Girl #1: I will kill all of your firstborns!
Girl #2: All of them?
–Megabus, Penn Station
Overheard by: Lisa
I’m Too Old for All This Imaginary Gonorrhea
British girl: What were you just talking about?
Queer: Oh, we’re talking about hypothetical blowjobs.
British girl: Whatever. I don’t have time for hypotheticals anymore.
–BBQ, DeKalb & Clermont
Ask Her If She Knows Lena
Two guys are speaking Russian.
Girl: Are you guys from Russia?
Guy #1: Yes.
Girl: No way! My grandma’s from Germany.
–Washington Square Park
Overheard by: MP
To Confuse Assassins
Confused little boy looking at dozens of Santas in Santacon: I thought there is only one Santa Claus.
Mother: Those are Santa’s helpers. Santa can’t do everything by himself.
Little boy: But why are they dressed like Santa?
Mother, exasperated: I don’t know.
–3 train, Times Square
Overheard by: Eric Kuo
The “Hello, My Name Is” Sticker Was the First Hint
Girlfriend snaps a photo of her tourist boyfriend, posing under a street sign.
Guy: Looking good, Perry.
Tourist: How did he know my…? Oh.
–Perry & Greenwich
Overheard by: Bonno
And Not in a Hip, Autistic Way, Either.
Little kid: Hey, mom! Check it out! (chokes himself with own hands)
Mom: Oh, don't do that, honey, you'll damage your brain!
–State St, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Ben